'Desperate Housewives': Effective Assertiveness
    Susan Learns A Clue To Mary Alice's Suicide
    Melissa Harrold, Staff Writer

    Whether it was dealing with a shady neighbor, a snoopy
    mother-in-law, a snotty school play director or a surly
    husband, the women of Wisteria Lane practiced the art
    of meditated assertiveness to manipulate situations to
    their advantage this week.

    The biggest conflict on Wisteria Lane -- aside from the
    rivalries over attractive single men and covert extramarital
    stealth operations -- exist in the Young household. Since
    Mary Alice Young's suicide, her son, Zach, and husband,
    Paul, have been acting very strangely. Now, Zach has
    disappeared altogether, leaving Susan Mayer to take it
    upon herself to investigate.

    "Mary Alice was a wonderful person and now all anybody
    thinks about her is that she went off the deep end and did
    this selfish thing," Susan said.

    Susan wanted to save her friend's good name, and never one
    to disregard any convoluted scheme that enters her head, she
    took matters into her own hands. Susan tailed Paul in a
    borrowed car to the Silvercrest Juvenile Rehabilitation
    Center, where Paul is keeping Zach under orders that the
    doctors "forget the Freud; let's stick with the drugs."

    Susan continued to do the sensible thing by sending Julie
    to the juvenvile center undercover.

    "Pretend to be bulimic. Gag a little!" Susan dictated.

    The one piece of information Julie gleaned from the
    drugged-up Zach is that the bad thing he did to cause
    his mother's suicide had to do with someone named Dana.

    Whether or not Dana is the key to the puzzle of Mary
    Alice's suicide or not, at least Susan's snooping didn't
    land her naked in any shrubbery this time. Live and learn.

    Gabrielle knows all about sneaking, but she doesn't seem
    to have learned from her mistakes yet. When a friendly game
    of poker revealed Mama Solis' gambling addiction, Gabrielle
    decides to stoop to new lows (even for her) and use it to
    her advantage by stealing some quality time with John while
    Mama Solis loses $15,000 at a casino.

    What Gabrielle doesn't count on is Mama Solis' keen eye.
    Instead of helping Gabrielle to hide her affair, Mama Solis
    ends up figuring out that John the teenaged gardener has
    been busier around the Solis home than Carlos suspects.

    Gabrielle's alternate world appears to be closing in on her.
    Will John feel the brunt of Carlos' anger? Stay tuned.

    Lynette was a bit more successful with her assertiveness.
    When a snobby mother, Maisie, wanted to give Little Red
    Riding Hood, the play at Lynette's twins' school, a
    politically correct ending, Lynette put her foot down.

    "To hell with political correctness. Let's kill the damn
    wolf and put on the best show that we can," Lynette said.

    After winning the support of the more timid women previously
    suppressed by Maisie's totalitarian school play regime, and
    popping a few of her kids' ADD pills for extra energy, Lynette
    had had it with Maisie's "alpha mom" routine, and
    asked her to take it outside.

    When Maisie backed down, Lynette knew she had won. "Just
    so you know, next spring when we do Bambi, his mother's going
    to take a slug to the heart and you're going to like it,"
    Lynette said.

    Although it probably wasn't as bad as Bambi's mom dying,
    Bree and Rex didn't have such a happy ending this week
    either. After their therapist suggested the help of a
    "sexual surrogate," or a woman he described as
    a sort of sex coach, to improve intimacy, an indignant
    Bree (Marcia Cross) decided to take her marriage into her
    own hands.

    So, she put on her sexiest red lingerie under her best fur
    coat, and marched to Rex's hotel room to get her husband
    back. And it would have worked, too, if it weren't for Bree's
    tragic flaw: obsessive cleanliness. A dripping burrito on the
    night table distracted Bree, and Rex (Steven Culp) threw her out.

    While her efforts didn't work, at least this episode gives
    us some glimmer of hope that Bree is human underneath her
    squeaky-clean Stepford exterior.

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