Mary Alice: "It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than a certain blonde who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley once a week since she was a child. As the years had passed, much to Father O'Malley's dismay, a theme began to emerge. And once she had been forgiven, Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately for Edie, temptation seemed to be everywhere. Yes, it is often said confession is good for the soul. But some confessions are just bragging in disguise."

---

Harvey: "Bree? Uh, hi. We haven't met. I'm Harvey Bigsby, and I brought my wife here to apologize."
Bree: "It's a soufflé. And timing is everything." Harvey: "Oh, please, please, um, she's been under a great deal of stress since Alma's disappearance, and, and she really hasn't been herself. Much of that was due to the Mexican painkillers that she was purchasing online, but I put a stop to that."

---

Orson: "Darling, you are amazing, you know that? To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity."
Bree: "Well, thank you, darling. But if you think for one second that I'm gonna break bread with that malicious, pill-popping shrew, you're out of your mind."

---

Ian: "How are things with Mike?"
Susan: "Oh, uh, they're moving along. It's a process."
Ian: "And the, uh, blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?"
Susan: "Uh, Edie? Oh, she's just a neighbor. She visits Mike after her Hepatitis C treatments."

---

Tom: "Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination."
Lynette: "Okay."
Tom: "Okay. Open."
Lynette: "Oh, dear god."
Tom: "Damn it, you looked with your eyes!"

---

Twin: "How long will daddy be gone?"
Lynette: "Well, that sort of depends on daddy."
Twin: "Are you two mad at each other?"
Lynette: "Yeah. A little. But that's okay. That's okay. We still love each other very much. But just like kids, sometimes grown-ups throw tantrums and need a time-out."
Twin: "Why can't he take a time-out in his room?"
Lynette: "'Cause he decided to take it in his pizza place."
Parker: "No fair. That sounds fun."
Lynette: "Not this pizza place. It's a rat hole. But once your dad comes to his senses and stops being petulant, he'll come home."
Twin: "What's petulant?"
Lynette: "It means childish, stubborn, careless with my money and your futures."
Twin: "Huh?"
Lynette: "It's a grown-up word, and when daddy comes home, you'll learn a new one: grovel."

---

Carlos: "You wanna wash my shorts?"
Gabrielle: "I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves."

---

Susan: "So where were we?"
Lynette: "You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time."
Susan: "Oh, right. Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do."

---

Gabrielle: "Hey! Cocktails? Nobody called me?"
Susan: "It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives."
Gabrielle: "Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!"

---

Detective Ridley: "You killed a cop once, didn't you?"
Mike: "That was self-defense."
Detective Ridley: "Hope it wasn't just beginner's luck."

---

Gabrielle: "Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?"
Susan: "Oh, god, here she goes again. What grade is he in?"

---

Lynette: "Your association with my family is over. When Kayla comes to visit, you will drop her at the end of the block. You will never again see my husband, and if you try to, I will do to your spine what I just did to your front door. Nod if you understand."

---

Ian: "I’ll tell you what. I’ll repeat what you said last night, and you say whether it was you or the booze talking. Are you ready?"
Susan: "Mm."
Ian: "You said you missed me. Susan or booze?"
Susan: "Susan."
Ian: "You said it was a mistake breaking up with me and that you wanted to start again. Susan or booze?"
Susan: "Susan."
Ian: "Then you said that you wanted to dress me up like a schoolboy and spank my naughty bottom. Susan or booze?"
Susan: "Oh, I didn't say that."
Ian: "Yeah, all right then, but if you had, um, Susan or booze?"
Susan: "A little of both, so, Boozan."

---

Mary Alice: "There is a place in St. Timothy's church where sinners go to confess their sins and once they're done, they expect absolution. But the truth is, not all confessions are worthy of such forgiveness. Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive. Most who disclose vengeful motives merit the punishment that follows. Only the truly repentant have any right at all to expect a second chance which is why it's best to think twice before you confess especially if you don't know what it is you're confessing to."