Mary Alice: "Susan Mayer had always believed the one thing about hard times is that you get to find out who your friends really are. When her grandmother died, it was Bree who brought homemade cookies. When the critics panned her third book, it was Gabrielle who hired the handsome masseur. When her divorce became final it was Lynette who poured the scotch. Sadly, Susan’s life had been shattered once again. But as always, her friends had come to help pick up the pieces. Yes, hard times were what Susan used to distinguish who was a friend and who wasn’t."

---

Susan: "I don’t deserve friends like you."
Lynette: "We’re aware of that."

---

Paul: "I’m calling the police."
Felicia: "No need, I just needed to borrow some flour. I’m a little bit psychic and I predict fresh baked cookies in your future."

---

Susan: "Uh, this is a little awkward and I apologize in advance for how this is gonna sound, but um...by any chance, did you burn down my house?"
Edie: "Yes."
Susan: "What?"
Edie: "Yes, I burnt down your house, you sleazy little whore."

---

Xiao-Mei: "She smell."
Carlos: "Who smells? Gaby?"
Gabrielle: "Excuse me, what?"
Xiao-Mei: "Her perfume make me sick."
Gabrielle: "Honey, it’s a hundred bucks an ounce. That tends to make everyone a little nauseous."

---

Bree: "You know what? Maybe Andrew leaving will be good for us. You are all I have left and I am going to be the best mother that I can be."
Danielle: "There’s definitely room for improvement."

---

Carlos: "Do you have to be so high-maintenance?"
Gabrielle: "You married a model, Carlos. Maintenance is my only skill!"

---

Gabrielle: "Fine, I’ll learn to live without product. But when my hair starts smelling like hair, I don’t want to hear a word."

---

Lynette: "And what if I see him with another woman? What then?"
Mrs. McCluskey: "I own a gun."

---

Mary Alice: "It’s a shocking moment for each of us. That moment we realize we are all alone in this world. The family we take for granted could one day abandon us. The husband we trust so implicitly might betray us. The daughter we love so deeply perhaps won’t return to us. And then we could end up all by ourselves. Of course, some see great value in going it alone."