Mary Alice: "Karl Mayer didn’t pray often, but when he did, it was usually to ask for God’s help in breaking up with a woman. And to spare him the nasty drama that usually accompanied such callous and unexpected departures. Over the years Karl had dumped dozens of women. And not one of them had seen it coming. Every retreat was always meticulously planned right down to the personalized stationary. Hence, his record of successful getaways from women who did not want to see him go. So when he decided to break up with Edie Britt, Karl prayed to God yet again to help him avoid all the unnecessary drama. Unfortunately for Karl, God was in the mood to be entertained. As he sat there, Karl couldn’t help but wonder why God had forsaken him. It never occurred to him that God might be a woman."

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Bree: "I think you’d love the opera. The music and the voices, it's just all so passionate."
Peter: "Yeah, three hundred-pound soprano seducing balding tenors. That’d be hot!"

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Claude: "Damn it, Peter, what did I tell you."
Peter: "Avoid lust triggers."
Claude: "And what is she?"
Peter: "Claude, don’t do this, man."
Claude: "She is a lust trigger. A lust trigger!"
Bree: "Ah, excuse me. I don’t know what that means but could you please stop saying it."

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Lynette: "Karl broke up with Edie."
Susan: "Oh my god!"
Bree: "Yeah, apparently he was seeing someone."
Susan: "Really? Did he say who is was?"
Edie: "I know who she is. She’s a man-eating, scum-sucking ho bag!"
Bree: "No, he did not say."

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Dale: "I got kinda held up in Florida longer than I thought."
Carlos: "Spring break, right?"
Dale: "Yeah. Oh man, we were wasted twenty-four seven! Then I got the message and I just thought my friends were messin’ with me. Those buttwads!"

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Ed: "At least you and Tom have a love life."
Lynette: "Well, we do the best we can. Given the circumstances."
Ed: "Better than Fran and I. We’re dead in that department. Ah, no, I don’t wanna bore you with details."
Lynette: "I appreciate that. You know, Ed. I don’t want to pry into your personal business, but if you are having problems in that area, you don’t have to be resigned to it."
Ed: "What are you suggesting, hookers? No, Ed Ferrara doesn’t pay for sex."

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Mary Alice: "There is a prayer intended to give strength to people faced with circumstances they don’t want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from it's insight into human nature. Because so many of us rage against the hand that life has dealt us. Because so many of us are cowardly. And afraid to stand up for what is right. Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. The good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. The bad news is that sometimes the answer is no."