Mary Alice: "George Williams had never been lucky in love. It seems that the women he dated always invented reasons not to consummate their relationship. Sadly for George, it was one unoriginal excuse after another. But since he'd started seeing Bree Van de Kamp, George couldn’t help but feel, his luck was about to change."

---

George: "It’s okay that I’m doing this right?"
Bree: "Well, I thought we were going to let the duck digest a bit more, but what the heck."

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George: "What’s wrong?"
Bree: "I don’t know. I felt something weird."
George: "Oh, that was my tongue. It extends farther than most. I should have warned you."

---

Bree: "I’m sorry George, but you have to go."
George: "But the kids are away. I was sort of hoping we could make love tonight."
Bree: "How are we going to do that George? You have just given me hives."

---

Sophie: "Are you planning to pop the question?"
Mike: "Well, if she knows it’s coming, the question won’t really ‘pop’ now will it?"
Susan: "He’s right, mom. Oh, I want it to be just like you do. You know on your own terms and you get down on one knee and the whole production."
Mike: "That’s the plan."
Susan: "Well. Then I can wait. I can wait. I’m a good waiter."
Mike: "Good."
Susan: "I was just wondering if, if there’s a ball park of how long I will have to wait. A week, a month, after lunch?"
Mike: "Again, you’re not waiting for the ‘pop.’"

---

David: "Louis, Crystal hired me to keep you away from her. She doesn't want to see you."
Louis: "Oh, yeah, then, then why did she ask for my phone number?"
David: "She's a cashier. You paid by check. It doesn't make you special."

---

Bree: "Paul, we've called the police."
Paul: "You didn't really need to do that."
Gabrielle: "We know what you did to Mrs. Huber."
Paul: "Wonderful. I see you've all turned into Susan while I've been gone."

---

Mrs. Greenberg: "Hey, hey, what's going on?"
Edie: "Oh, Mayer's convinced that Paul Young murdered Martha Huber."
Mrs. Greenberg: "Oh, my god! I live right behind him."
Mrs. Fromme: "I know. I gave him my house keys to feed my cat."
Edie: "I win. I made out with him."

---

Edie: "Well, someone might as well say it. Susan, what the hell have you been smoking?"

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Lynette: "I'll tutor Parker myself."
Tom: "Honey, that'd be great. You also gonna take up home dentistry?"

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Susan: "I just can't believe it. I mean, there he is, a murderer, just living right on our street, and there's nothing we can do about it because you're a convicted felon and I burned down that stupid house. It's unfair."

---

Nina: "Who knew that you cared so much about what I think?"
Lynette: "I don't follow you."
Nina: "Well, I make a few innocent comments, and you go out and buy yourself a gorgeous new suit. Dance, puppet, dance."

---

Tom: "It is a suit. Why are you so obsessed with it?"
Lynette: "You can't explain obsession, Tom. It just is."

---

Bree: "George. I know what you want from me, and I, I thought I wanted the same thing, but I keep getting those rashes because I still feel married."
George: "Makes sense, I guess."
Bree: "Can't you just be patient? Can't you wait just a little bit longer?"
George: "I've already waited my whole life for you, and I can wait a little more."
Bree: "Mmm."
George: "But let's be honest. There's no guarantee that you'll ever be ready. There's only so much rejection I can take. So, I'll do my best, but don't be surprised if one of these days you wake up and I'm not here."

---

Gabrielle: "I'm not leaving my husband. Carlos is looking at spending eight years in jail because of my lapse of judgment with the gardener. I can't let him rot in there. I'd be filled with guilt."
David: "You could get him out and then divorce him."
Gabrielle: "Not an option. I'm Catholic, hence the guilt."

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Sophie: "Oh! You look beautiful. Oh, you should really consider wearing this when you marry Mike. We could make it a family tradition."
Susan: "Why don't we both stop getting divorced? That would be a nice family tradition."

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Mary Alice: "Yes, every little girl dreams of a big white wedding. But some dreams just don’t come true."