This was typed by Lucy and Amanda, mere humans, and mistakes are possible. If you find any, no matter how trivial, please let me know. (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)

In the interest of finishing the transcripts faster, screen caps will not be placed on the transcripts until further notice. You can find screen caps at the following websites:
Desperate Housewives
Wisteria Lane
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Guest stars
"Tom Scavo" - Doug Savant
"Felicia Tilman" - Harriet Sansom Harris
"Karl Mayer" - Richard Burgi
"Matthew Applewhite" - Mehcad Brooks
"Deirdre" - Jolie Jenkins
"Dr. Craig" - Terry Bozeman
"Justin" - Ryan Carnes
"The Cable Guy" - John Newton
"Preston Scavo" - Brent Kinsman
"Porter Scavo" - Shane Kinsman
"Betty Applewhite" - Alfre Woodard
"Parker Scavo" - Zane Huett
"Judge" - Steve Tom
"Prosecutor" - Gregory Wagrowski
"4-year-old Zach" - Tanner Maguire
"Realtor" - William Dennis Hunt
"Cop" - Kevin E. West
"Nurse"- Shirley Jordan
"Box Boy" - Lee Whitaker

Written by: John Pardee, Joey Murphy, Marc Cherry, Tom Spezialy
Directed by: Larry Shaw

Mary Alice’s House

On a table is a picture of Mary Alice, Bree, Susan, Gabrielle and Lynette hugging and smiling.

"My name is Mary Alice Young, and before I died, my life was filled with love, laughter, friendship, and, sadly, secrets."

Cut to Mary Alice exiting her front door, taking out the trash.

"The secrets had begun fifteen years earlier when my name was Angela Forrest, and I was living a life of quiet desperation."

Cut to Mary Alice serving breakfast to Paul, who is pouring orange juice while sitting at the dining room table.

"I'd feel it every morning as I made breakfast for my husband."

Paul: "If you could stop by the market today, that would be great. I'm out of shaving cream."

Cut to Mary Alice in the supermarket parking lot.

"And during the errands I ran in the afternoons."

With a supermarket apron on, a bag boy loads groceries into Mary Alice’s car. She hands a tip to him.

Bag Boy: "So Friday's double coupon day. You'll save a bunch if you come on Fridays."

"Even at my work every evening."

Cut to Mary Alice at the hospital. She approaches the nurse’s station with a file folder. A younger Felicia Tilman is talking to a nurse who is looking at a calendar at the desk.

Nurse: "What a lovely calendar. Was this taken around here?"
Felicia: "Oh, no. That's way out in Fairview. I have family there. Isn't it idyllic?"

Mary Alice begins putting files away. Felicia hands her another file.

Felicia: "Here, Angela. You can file this."
Mary Alice: "Oh."

"To me, each day was gray and meaningless. And then one night, suddenly..."

Cut to Mary Alice taking out the trash. A young woman approaches in the dark, carrying a baby.

Deirdre: "Hey, Angela."

"There was color."

Mary Alice: "Deirdre. What are you doing here?"
Deirdre: "I need some money."

Later, Deirdre looks around Paul and Mary Alice's living room, holding her baby. Paul stands off to the side and Mary Alice brings a glass of water to Deirdre.

Mary Alice: "Deirdre, here."

The baby begins whimpering. Deirdre drinks the water quickly and hands the glass back to Mary Alice. She keeps her reddened eyes averted.

Mary Alice: "You're using again, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "No, I just, um, I just got to get some food for my baby and some other stuff."
Mary Alice: "Well, if the baby's hungry, we can go to the market and I'll buy food."
Deirdre: "I-I can shop for my own baby, okay?"

The baby begins to fret.

Deirdre: "Quiet! I can't think. See this watch? It's worth a lot. I'll give it to you for fifty bucks."
Paul: "She's not giving you money."
Deirdre: "Do you mind? Angela, you're the only one at rehab who treated me like a person. Okay, please, please don't stop now."
Mary Alice: "I'm sorry."

Mary Alice walks to the front door and opens it.

Deirdre: "I'll sell you my baby!"
Mary Alice: "What?"
Deirdre: "I heard you talking and I know you can't have your own. It's been killing you."
Paul: "It's time that you left."
Deirdre: "No, I, I'm thinking about Dana. You'll give him a good home. Okay? He'll be better off. Okay? Shh. Quiet. Quiet!"
Paul: "Honey!"

Mary Alice holds up her hand to silence Paul.

Deirdre: "How much money do you keep in the house? "

The baby continues to cry. Mary Alice slowly closes the front door.

Clinic

Paramedics roll in a gurney carrying an unconscious Deirdre.

Felicia: "She has a ten-month-old baby. Where the hell is it?"
Policeman: "I don't know. If we'd seen a kid, we certainly wouldn't have left it sitting in the middle of a crack house."
Felicia: "If anything happens to that child, I will have your badge."

Mary Alice stands close by, listening to the conversation.

Policeman: "Just let me do my job, huh? We'll post an Officer at the junkie's bedside. If she wakes up, we'll let her tell us where she left her kid."

Deirdre's gurney is rolled out the room. Mary Alice's eyes focus on the calendar hanging at the nurse’s station. She looks at the picture of a group of houses in the town of Fairview.

Mary Alice's House

A realtor comes out of the house, greeting Paul, Mary Alice, and young Dana.

Realtor: "I really do hope you folks will be happy here in Fairview.
Paul: "Thank you."

"And we were."

Mary Alice: "Wave bye, Zach. Wave bye-bye."

"We were as happy as any family could be."

Mary Alice and Paul smile at each other, then enter their new home.

"Until one night three years later..."

Hand knocking on the door late at night.

"When there was a knock at our door and I was desperate once again."

Mary Alice opens the front door. Deirdre is standing there.

CREDITS

Wisteria Lane, Nighttime

"It was five o'clock in the morning on Wisteria Lane when the phone calls started."

Susan's House

The telephone rings. Susan rolls over in bed to pick up the phone.

"Of course, each of them knew something was wrong from that first ring."

Susan: "Hello?"

Lynette's House

The telephone rings.

"After all, it's one of the unwritten rules of suburbia..."

Lynette wakes and grabs the phone.

Lynette: "Hello?"

Gabrielle's House

The telephone rings.

"...don't call the neighbors in the middle of the night..."

Telephone ringing. Gabrielle grabs the phone.

"...unless the news is bad."

Gabrielle: "Hello?"

Hospital

"And so they came with their uncombed hair and their unmade faces. They came because after all these years..."

Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle exit the hospital elevator, walking quickly. They come to a waiting room where Bree is sitting there alone.

Susan: "Bree."

"They were no longer just neighbors."

Susan, Lynette ,and Gabrielle go Bree and sit with her.

Bree: "Hi. What are you doing here?"
Susan: "We heard Rex had a heart attack. How is he?"
Bree: "Um, he's stable, but, um, they have to put in a pacemaker, so they're gonna need to operate. How did you guys know?"
Gabrielle: "Danielle called."
Lynette: "So how are you doing?"
Bree: "We were having a fight when he had the heart attack, and I'm just feeling really guilty, because I should have gotten him here sooner and - "
Gabrielle: "Honey, the doctors here are great!"
Lynette: "Yeah, and he's so young, he's gonna bounce right back."
Susan: "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
Bree: "You know what? I am so happy that you guys came here, I really am, but I am trying really hard to be strong, so if you keep comforting me..."
Lynette: "You're gonna lose it?"
Bree: "Mm-hmm."
Gabrielle: "Then we won't comfort."
Bree: "Thank you."
Gabrielle: "We're just gonna talk about non-crisis things."
Susan: "Oh, I know. Uh, I found Mrs. Huber's journal in some of Mike's stuff, and I think she knew Mary Alice's secret and was blackmailing her."

Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette look at her.

Lynette: "Yep, that'll do it."

Outside Felicia's House

Zach walks quickly out the front door, Felicia right behind him.

Felicia: "Zachary! Come back here, please."

Zach goes to his own house, slams the door and runs up the stairs. He is carrying a suitcase and heads up the stairs. Felicia enters after him.

Felicia: "Your father told you he would be gone for a while. He said you should let me look after you."
Zach: "I will be fine by myself. I am not a child."

Zach continues upstairs, goes to his room, and lays down on his bed. Felicia enters.

Felicia: "I know you're not a child, but I think we should discuss this."

Felicia sits on the bed next to Zach.

Zach: "I'm fine, really."
Felicia: "Why should you fend for yourself when you can just come home with me? Let me shoulder the burden. It would really be my pleasure-"

Felicia reaches to brush Zach’s hair back. Zach pushes her away and jumps up from the bed. Felicia jumps back.

Zach: "Stop! What kind of freak are you? Just leave me alone, all right? You are not my mother! I told you that I am fine. Now stop acting like my mother and go home."
Felicia: "I wish it were that easy, Zachary, for your sake, but it's not. Your father's not coming back."
Zach: "He said that he was."
Felicia: "He lied. I wanted to spare you this, but your father and I discussed it, and he decided that he shouldn't come back. Now, get your bag and let's go home. I'm gonna make you some pudding."

Felicia walks out of the room. She starts down the stairs and as she reaches the bottom, Zach runs after her, holding a hockey stick.

Zach: "What did you do to my dad?"

He swings the hockey stick at her.

Outside Paul's House

From the Young's front lawn, the sounds of someone being struck over and over can be heard.

Zach: "Tell me!"

Mrs. Applewhite's House

The new neighbor, Mrs. Applewhite, comes out onto the porch carrying a sewing basket. Edie approaches.

Edie: "Mrs. Applewhite?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes?"
Edie: "Hi. I'm Edie Britt. The realtor that helped you buy this house?"
Mrs. Applewhite: "Oh, of course. Hi."
Edie: "Hi. I've been so curious to meet you."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Really? Why?"
Edie: "It's just that I've never sold a house over the phone before."

A young man comes out the front door and closes the door behind him.

Edie: "You were awfully brave, buying the place sight unseen."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Not really. We could tell from the advertisement it was just what we were looking for. This is my son Matthew."

Matthew approaches and reaches to shake Edie’s hand.

Matthew: "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
Edie: "Please. Call me Edie. Ma'am's for middle-aged women."

Edie looks over a bush and points to Susan across the way who's putting trash in her trash can.

Edie: "...like her. You can call her ma'am anytime you want. So are you two finding everything okay? Because we didn't do our realtor's walk-through."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Everything is fine."
Edie: "Oh, honey. Escrow's closed. Now I can show you where to put the buckets when the rain comes."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Edie. The house is fine. But how lovely of you to stop by."
Edie: "Okay. Here is my card. Call anytime you want. Bye."

Matthew and his mother watch Edie walk to her car.

Matthew: "People are very friendly in this neighborhood."
Mrs. Applewhite: "Yes. Yes, they are."

Susan's House

Susan paces while on the phone. She is holding Mrs. Huber’s journal.

Susan: "Mike, Hi, sweetie. I hope the job's going well. Um, so I hope you're not mad, but I found Mrs. Huber's journal in your truck, and, well, I couldn't exactly not read it, so I did, and, um, I know all about the blackmail, so call me. We'll talk. Love you. Bye."

Later, Susan is on the phone again.

Susan: "I haven't heard back, and I was getting a little concerned. The girls and I were talking, and, we think that maybe Paul Young killed Mrs. Huber, and if he did, then maybe he killed your old girlfriend, too, so we should really talk about this so call me. I love you. Bye."

Later, Susan is on the phone again.

Susan: "I thought the whole point of having a cell phone was so someone could reach you when they needed to talk. How can we move forward as a couple if you won't communicate with me? Mike, I need you to call me back! I mean it! Love you. Bye."

Later, Susan is on the phone again.

Susan: "I am so sorry for that last phone call. Um, let's just say it was the worry talking. I just really need to talk to you, and-"

There's a small chirping sound coming from the phone.

Susan: "Can you hang on? I got another call. Hello?"
Mike: "Hey, it's me."
Susan: "Oh, my God. Where have you been?"
Mike: "Uh, the reception's pretty lousy up here, but I got your messages."
Susan: "Well, I'm really sorry for that last message. I was just, uh..."
Mike: "Stressed out?"
Susan: "Yes. Let's call it stressed out. Uh, so how did you get Martha Huber's journal?"
Mike: "Oh, um, her sister, Mrs. Tilman, gave it to me. She was helping me with my search."
Susan: "I just really think we need to give it to the police."
Mike: "Uh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely."
Susan: "Really?"
Mike: "Sure. Yeah. As soon as I get through with this job, we'll make an appointment with that detective, what's his name, uh, Copeland."
Susan: "Great. That's great."
Mike: "All right, so I'll, uh, see you in a few hours."
Susan: "Okay. Hurry, though. I just have a feeling that Paul Young is in the middle of all of this."
Mike: "Well, let's not rush to judgment."

Mike hangs up. He’s in his truck and turns to look at the back seat, where Paul Young is tied up with tape over his mouth. Mike drives off into the mountains.

Courtroom Waiting Room

Carlos is sitting in a chair wearing an orange jump suit with handcuffs on. Gabrielle enters carrying a suit.

Carlos: "What are you doing here?"
Gabrielle: "I'm here to testify for you, Carlos. Can you take those off?"
Policeman (unlocks Carlos' handcuffs): "Yes, ma'am."
Gabrielle: "There's no way I'm dressing him."
Carlos: "Gabby, thank god you're doing this. Beating up a second gay guy? It looks bad."
Gabrielle: "Yes, well, Carlos, in some circles, beating people up at all is frowned upon."
Carlos: "So why'd you change your mind?"
Gabrielle: "Well, I'm about to be the mother of your child, which means a lot of responsibility and little time for myself. So if I'm gonna get you out of this mess, you have to reciprocate."
Carlos: "Okay."
Gabrielle: "When the baby cries in the middle of the night, you're gonna get up without saying one word. Doctors' appointments: you're driving. I'm not putting a car seat in my Maserati. And you will also be on bottle duty. That means washing, sterilizing, and filling. That way I'll have some semblance of a life, and then maybe I won't hate you so much."

Gabrielle tightens Carlos’ tie. He winces. She fixes his collar.

Gabrielle: "All right, there we go. So we're good? See you in court."

Gabrielle begins walking out.

Carlos: "Hey, Gabby? Aren't we breast feeding?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, if you can swing that one, more power to you."

Gabrielle leaves the room.

Pizza Place

Inside a children’s Pizza Parlor. Lynette and Parker enter, with Lynette pushing the stroller.

Parker: "Can I buy my own pizza?"
Lynette: "Uh, you can, honey, If you can pay for it."

Lynette hears cheering and yelling. She looks over to the game area and sees Tom playing air hockey with a bunch of kids.

Tom: "Yeah, that is nineteen, nineteen, nineteen-zip. Bring it."
Lynette: "Just stay here with Penny for a second, okay?"

Lynette walks into the game room and approaches Tom.

Lynette: "Tom?"
Tom: "Yes! In your face! That is twenty-zip game, out!"
Lynette: "Tom, what are you doing?"
Tom: "I'm playing air hockey. What's it look like? Kevin, you're up."
Lynette: "Well, it's the middle of the day, and shouldn't you be at work?"
Tom: "Mm, no. I quit."
Lynette: "You did not."
Tom: "Yes. Yesterday. I told Peterson he could stick it. Boom! You're not bringing it, Kevin! Bring it!"
Lynette: "Could you talk to me for a second? I don't understand."
Tom: "What? You asked Peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me. So he gives a huge promotion to Annabel, so I quit. What don't you understand?"
Lynette: "Okay. Okay. Could we go home and talk about this, please?"
Tom: "No, we can't. Serve it up, meat."
Lynette: "You're just gonna stay here and play games all day?"
Tom: "No, I'm gonna go and get some ice cream, and then I'm gonna go up to the lake, maybe rent a boat, do whatever it is I feel like -- God!"
Boy: "Gotcha!"
Lynette: "Tom."
Tom: "Go home, Lynette. Go home before I say something I regret. Go home."

Lynette walks away.

Tom: "All right, you. You score this next point, you get your bike back."

Hospital Room

Bree is sitting beside Rex who is attached to various monitors. Rex opens his eyes and looks over at Bree.

Rex: "What are you thinking about?"
Bree: "Oh, I was just, um, thinking that I need to start, uh, spring cleaning."
Rex: "You haven't done that yet?"
Bree: "No, and I need to clean out our rain gutters, and, uh, beneath the refrigerator, and I can't tell you how long it's been since I've replaced the shelf liner, so..."
Rex: "Then you'll finish off with our wedding silver."
Bree: "How did you know that?"
Rex: "See, all those years, you didn't think I was paying attention. But I was."
Bree: "And do you know why I save it for last?"
Rex: "No."
Bree: "Because it makes me think of my Aunt Fern. On the day we got married, I told her how happy I was, and she told me that even during bad times to always remember that the best was yet to come. And so as I polish it, I think about you and the kids and our life and how right she was."
Rex: "They're gonna operate on me."
Bree: "I know."
Rex: "I wanna say some stuff just in case."
Bree: "Rex, you don't have to say anything."
Rex: "I'm sorry for everything I did. The moving out, the infidelity, the sex stuff..."
Bree: "It doesn't matter. From here on in, can we just say that we're even?"

Rex reaches for Bree’s hand. Bree clasps his hand.

Rex: "Okay."
Bree: "Thanks."

Bree sits on the bed next to Rex and tenderly touches his face.

Bree: "And for the record, you are gonna come through this operation just fine."
Rex: "How can you be so sure?"
Bree: "Because I told you: the best is yet to come."

Bree kisses Rex. She places her head on his chest and Rex puts his arm around her.

Outside Susan's House

Susan, Julie, and Karl come out. Karl is holding Julie’s suitcase.

Julie: "So I'll see you Sunday. Don't forget to feed Bongo."
Susan: "Oh, thanks. I'll go do that now."
Karl: "Go on in the car, sweetie. I have to talk to your mom real quick."

Julie gets into her father’s car.

Karl: "So you're gonna go live in sin with the plumber slash ex-con?"
Susan: "It's funny you should mention sin. I think adultery still falls in that category."
Karl: "I, I don't like the idea of this guy being around Julie twenty-four seven."
Susan: "He's a good person."
Julie: "Mike's cool, dad. He cares about us a lot, and I like having him around. So don't mess this up."
Susan: "You heard the girl."
Karl: "He's still a plumber."

Karl get into his car and drives away. Julie waves goodbye. Susan goes across the street to Mike’s house.

Mike's House

Susan: "Now, you be a good boy, Bongo, or you're gonna go to bed hungry."

Susan goes into the kitchen. Zach comes out from behind a wall. Susan turns and sees Zach. He has a gun in his hand.

Zach: "Hi, Ms. Mayer. Can you sit down, please?"

Susan is sitting at the dining room table. Zach is sitting across from her with the gun on the arm of the chair. Susan looks into the kitchen and sees a block with knives on the counter. She looks around the room. She sees a tall vase and part of a moose horn. She begins standing up.

Susan: "I'm just gonna go get some water."
Zach: "I'd rather you didn't."

Susan slowly sits back down as Zach keeps his gun trained on her. Edie walks up Mike’s porch. She knocks.

Zach: "Don't answer it.

Zach gets behind the door where it’s dark and peeks out. Edie looks through the window and sees Susan quietly sitting there.

Edie: "I know you're in there, Susan. I can see you. If you don't want to talk to me, fine. At least have the courtesy to hide."

Edie begins to knock louder. Susan looks at Zach as though saying, "what should I do?"

Zach: "All right, but don't let her in."

Susan gets up and opens the door a crack. Zach is standing behind the door holding the gun on her.

Susan: "Edie, what a pleasant surprise."
Edie: "Right. Is Mike home?"
Susan: "Uh, no, he's on a big plumbing job. What's up?"
Edie: "Can I come in?"
Susan: "Why?"
Edie: "I'm warning all the neighbors. Felicia Tilman was attacked."
Susan: "She was?"
Edie: "At the Young house. They just took her away an ambulance. I'm totally freaked out. My guys haven't shown up at the job site yet. I'm over there all alone, so do you think maybe I could just come in and hang out for a while?"

Susan mouths "Zach is sticking a gun at me" to Edie, but Edie misunderstands.

Edie: "Stick it up my what?"
Susan: "Just get the hell out of here."
Edie: "God, you are such a bitch."

Susan slams the door on Edie. She faces Zach who continues holding the gun on her.

Susan: "Why?"
Zach: "I asked Mrs. Tilman to tell me the truth about my father. She did."
Susan: "What'd she say?"
Zach: "Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him. Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino."

Courtroom

Gabrielle is on the stand.

Gabrielle: "Your Honor, this whole mess is just a result of my loneliness. My marriage is a bit strained, and after Carlos was convicted-"
Judge: "No one's been convicted yet, Mrs. Solis. This is just a Grand Jury hearing."
Gabrielle: "Oh, no, no, I'm talking about his other crime."
Judge: "Oh, right. Go ahead."
Gabrielle: "Anyway, he was placed under house arrest, and he being the jealous man that he is, got a little crazy every time I left the house."

The courtroom is filled. Justin, with a bruised face, is sitting in the back. Also in the courtroom is the cable guy Carlos previously attacked.

Gabrielle: "He knows how men look at me, and, well, I, I didn't exactly ease his mind. I falsely led him to believe I was having an affair. And, and before Carlos's house arrest, he was always working, and he was never with me. And I thought that maybe if he believed I was having an affair, he would realize he loved me. And I know it sounds stupid, I do. I just-"
Prosecution Attorney: "Is there a point to this?"
Gabrielle: "My point is that Carlos is an angry, jealous Neanderthal. But he's not a gay-basher."
Judge: "All right. I've heard enough. Counsel, approach."

Holding his hand over the microphone, the judge speaks with the attorneys.

Judge: "I've got to be honest, I don't think we have a hate crime here."

Gabrielle, listening intently, turns to Carlos and nods encouragingly at him. Just then, John enters the courtroom. As the judge and attorneys continue talking, John approaches Carlos from behind. Gabrielle watches in horror as John leans to whisper into Carlos’ ear.

John: "Just so you know, you beat up the wrong guy. Didn't you think it was strange that you had the only lawn on Wisteria Lane that needed to be mowed three times a week?"

He claps Carlos on the back and gives Gabrielle a brief fierce stare before walking off.

Carlos slowly turns his head to look at Gabrielle. Her eyes widen and Carlos turns his body to look at where John is standing directly behind Justin.

Carlos: "You are so dead! You are so dead. You are dead!"

Carlos jumps over the barrier and runs toward John. Judge pounds the gavel.

Judge: "Order!"
Gabrielle: "Aaah. Carlos!"
Attorney: "He’s doing it again!"
Lady: "He’s going after the gay guy!"

Carlos runs toward John but Justin is in his way. He knocks Justin down.

Cable Guy: "Hey, for God’s sakes. Somebody stop him!"
Guard: "Get off of him!"
Gabrielle: "Stop it!"

Guards pull Carlos up. John stares at Carlos with hate in his eyes. Carlos yells at John.

Carlos: "I'll kill you! Te voy a matar! I am going to kill you!"

The guards pull Carlos out of the room.

Judge: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated. We will have order!"

Everyone sits down. Gabrielle looks at John who has a very smug look on his face.

Desert

Mike drives his truck up to a very deserted area. He gets out and opens the back door.

Mike: "Get out."

Mike pulls Paul out of the back. He pulls the tape off Paul’s mouth. Paul’s hands are tied behind his back. Mike takes a shovel out of the truck.

Paul: "I'm not trying to justify anything. I don't know how you knew Martha Huber, but she ruined lives. For fun. She destroyed my family."
Mike: "This isn't about her."
Paul: "I don't understand."
Mike: "Walk."

Mike pushes Paul and they begin walking.

Hospital Room

Rex's doctor, Dr. Craig, is looking at Rex's chart.

Dr. Craig: "Remember when we first tested you, your potassium level was bit high."
Rex: "Yes. You made me stop eating bananas.
Dr. Craig: "But as we've continued testing, it's kept climbing. We've now run an entire battery of tests, and your kidney function is fine. It has to be something you're ingesting."
Rex: "Let me see. These numbers can't be right."
Dr. Craig: "Who prepares your meals?"
Rex: "Bree."
Dr. Craig: "I understand you've been having some marital problems."
Rex: "All right, wait a minute."
Dr. Craig: "Wasn't there also an incident at a salad bar? She gave you onions when she knew you were allergic."
Rex: "That was an accident."
Dr. Craig: "You're getting this potassium from somewhere."
Rex: "Get out."
Dr. Craig: "Rex."
Rex: "I mean it. Get out. Leave the chart. I want to read it."

Dr. Craig leaves the room. Rex begins reading his chart.

Lynette's House

Tom comes in. He sits at the table across from Lynette.

Lynette: "So, did you have a fun day?"
Tom: "As a matter of fact, I did. I probably had the most fun that I have had in a long time."
Lynette: "You know, I didn't tell you to quit."
Tom: "No. No, no, no. No, you made damn sure that I'd go nowhere for the next twenty years."
Lynette: "I don't know what to say."
Tom: "I hear "please forgive me" is popular."
Lynette: "Yes, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But I was trying to protect our family. If you got a promotion, we never would have seen you. You would have been traveling all the - "
Tom: "Lynette, Lynette, Lynette, you're right. You're right. You're right. That promotion would have just killed us, so this is gonna all work out."
Lynette: "What does that mean?"
Tom: "It means that I can use the break."
Lynette: "Oh, well, yeah. I think it would be good for you to take some time off."
Tom: "No, not some time. Full time. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad."
Lynette: "Huh?"
Tom: "What the heck? You earn the living for a while."
Lynette: "Tom, that's...crazy."
Tom: "Why? Why is it crazy? You and I both know that you're better at the ad game, and you tell me all the time how hard it is to be a mom."
Lynette: "Well, yes, yes, it is hard, but I, I love it, too, and I've been doing it for six years, and I haven't complained the entire time."
Tom: "Fair enough. Fair enough. But be honest. Secretly, you miss the ad game, don't you? I mean, you miss the pressure and the deadlines and the, the power lunches. Or am I wrong? Maybe, maybe you want to sort dirty socks the rest of your life."
Lynette: "We should talk about this seriously before we make any rash decisions."
Tom: "I already made the decision. You're going back to work."

Tom gets up and goes upstairs.

Mike's House

Susan is sitting on the stairs. Zach is sitting on the floor next to Bongo.

Susan: "Can I at least get you something to eat, Zach?"
Zach: "You can get me a soda. Thanks."

Susan gets up and walks toward the kitchen. Zach gets up behind her. Susan goes to the refrigerator.

Susan: "I gotta say, I think you're making a mistake. Mike couldn't kill anybody. I mean, this could just be a misunderstanding."

Susan hands Zach a soda she has opened for him.

Zach: "This is not a misunderstanding."
Susan: "Listen, I know you're upset, but is this really what you think your mother would want you doing?"
Zach: "Probably not."
Susan: "Exactly. Because she raised you right. Look you have been through a lot. you've lost your mom. you're still carrying around the guilt over what happened to your baby sister."
Zach: "I never had a baby sister!"
Susan: "Honey, I know about Dana."
Zach: "How stupid are you? I'm Dana. My mother was some junkie. They stole me and changed my name. They have been lying to me my entire life. Everyone lies to me! My mother! My father! Mrs. Tilman! Even Julie. Do you understand how much that hurts?"
Susan: "Look, Zach. I know you're upset. Let’s just, let's just sit down and talk."
Zach: "Why! So you can lie to me also?"

He points the gun at her and she puts her hand up as though pleading for Zach to stop.

Zach: "No more talking."

Susan nods and Zach points the gun downward.

Hospital Room

Rex closes his chart. He breathes heavily as he grabs a pen and paper and begins to write, "Bree, I understand and I forgive you."

Bree's House

Bree is polishing silver when the phone rings.

Bree: "Hello?"
Dr. Craig: "Bree, it's Dr. Craig. I'm at the hospital, and I'm afraid I have some bad news."
Bree: "Oh?"
Dr. Craig: "Rex passed away about ten minutes ago."
Bree: "But his operation, it's not until tomorrow."
Dr. Craig: "I know. He just didn't make it. I'm so sorry. We did everything we could. Bree?"
Bree: "Yes, of course you did. Thank you very much for calling."

Bree slowly hangs up the phone. She walks into the dining room and finishes polishing the silver. She closes the box and puts it on the shelf. She walks to the table and straightens the tablecloth. She sits down and, looking at the empty chair across the table from her, begins to sob.

The camera slowly pans over to a photograph of Bree and Rex on their wedding day.

Desert

Paul and Mike continue walking.

Paul: "This is a long way to go to do what you could have done in my backyard. You're kind of taking your time, walking a lot. You sure you know what you're doing? You ever actually had to kill anyone for real before?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Paul: "Oh."
Mike: "But since you're so tired of walking, let's just do this here."

Mike pushes Paul to his knees. He pulls out a gun and points it at Paul

Paul: "I don't expect any favors from you, obviously. But could you at least do me the courtesy of telling me why we're here?"

Mike pulls out a photograph of him and Deirdre and tosses on the ground in front of Paul.

Paul: "You knew Deirdre?"
Mike: "Yeah. And I know what you did to her. She was just a sad girl with a lot of problems, and she did some terrible, crazy, selfish stuff, but you tell me what she ever could have done to deserve death at the hands of somebody like you."
Paul: "It's complicated. It's, uh, complicated."

"And just like that, my husband began sharing my secrets."

Mary Alice's House

Flashback to when Mary Alice was alive. Mary Alice cut up some vegetables.

Mary Alice: "You want some carrots, Zachary?"

"Secrets I had died to protect."

She carries the carrots into the dining room.

Mary Alice: "There you go. We have to get that fence up in the backyard before the pool’s finished."
Paul: "I know."
Mary Alice: "I'm serious. You know how kids are drawn to water."

She continues cutting up vegetables when there's a knocking at the door. She goes to answer the door, opens it, and finds Deirdre standing there.

Deirdre: "Hello, Angela."

Later, Deirdre sits in the living room across from Paul and Mary Alice.

Deirdre: "You did a good job covering your tracks. I had to spend a lot of my father's money hunting you down."
Mary Alice: "Congratulations. You found us."
Deirdre: "You know, I never told the police what happened."
Paul: "You didn't?"
Deirdre: "They would have put Dana in foster care, or worse, given him to my father. So I kept our little secret."
Mary Alice: "Well, we appreciate that."
Deirdre: "Anyway, I guess you can see I've gotten myself cleaned up."
Mary Alice: "Yes, you look lovely."
Deirdre: "I'm not the same person you knew back then, Angela. I'm in a good place now."
Mary Alice: "You can't have him."
Deirdre: "Just because I didn't go to the police before doesn't mean I can't do it now."

Mary Alice stands up.

Mary Alice: "Zach is our son."
Deirdre: "His name is Dana."
Mary Alice: "If you think I'm giving my baby to some junkie, you're crazy."
Deirdre: "He's not your baby."
Paul: "Look, just calm down."
Deirdre: "You were always so high and mighty back at the clinic, looking down on us poor degenerates, pretending you wanted to help when all you really wanted was to feel superior. You self-righteous bitch."
Mary Alice: "You're still using, aren't you?"
Deirdre: "Go to hell."

Mary Alice grabs Deirdre’s arm. Deirdre tries to pull away.

Deirdre: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Let me see your arm."
Deirdre: "I said I'm clean!"

Paul steps in the separate them.

Paul: "Take it easy. Let's just take it easy."

Deirdre begins to go to the stairs.

Mary Alice: "Where do you think you're going?"
Deirdre: "I'm getting my son, and I'm taking him home."
Mary Alice: "Paul, stop her."

Paul runs after her and grabs her.

Paul: "Deirdre, please."

He pushes her back to living room and she falls on the floor.

Paul: "Come on. Sit down. Sit down."
Deirdre: "Get your hands off me!"
Mary Alice: "We raised him. We're his parents."
Paul: "Come on. Come on.

Deirdre grabs the poker from the fireplace and hits Paul. He collapses.

Mary Alice: "Paul!"
Deirdre: "Don't worry. I'll give him a good home."

Deirdre throws the fireplace poker down and starts towards the stairs again. Mary Alice grabs a knife and stabs Deirdre.

Mary Alice: "No!"

Deirdre falls coughing and groaning. Paul begins to get up, holding his bleeding forehead.

Paul: "Oh, Mary Alice. What did you do?"

Mary Alice goes to Zach’s room, quickly emptying his toy chest. Zach wakes up.

Zach: "Mommy?"
Mary Alice: "It's okay, Zach. Mommy needs to borrow your toy chest. You go back to sleep, okay?"

She hugs him.

In the living room the toy chest is next to Deirdre’s body.

Paul: "What are we gonna do?"
Mary Alice: "You said they were pouring the concrete for the pool tomorrow?"
Paul: "You can't be serious."
Mary Alice: "They'll never find her. We can put her in this."
Paul: "She won't fit."
Mary Alice: "Then we'll have to make her fit."

Mary Alice bends down and pushes Deirdre’s sleeves up.

Paul: "What are you doing?"
Mary Alice: "Checking for track marks."

They see that her arms are clean.

Mary Alice looks up to see Zach standing on the stairs watching them.

Present - In the Desert

Mike: "Deirdre had a baby?"
Paul (nods): "Let's get this over with."

Mike points the gun at Paul. After a few seconds, he drops his hand, then walks away, leaving Paul tied up on his knees, watching him go.

"It's an odd thing to look back on the world, to watch those I left behind. Each in her own way so brave, so determined, and so very desperate."

Lynette's House

"Desperate to venture out, but afraid of what she'll miss when she goes."

Lynette stands in the doorway of the boys' room watching them sleep.

Gabrielle's House

"Desperate to get everything she wants, even when she's not exactly sure of what that is."

Gabrielle sits alone in her bedroom.

Bree's House

"Desperate for life to be perfect again, although she realizes it never really was."

Bree is in her bedroom, laying out Rex’s burial clothes.

Mike's House

"Desperate for a better future, if she can find a way to escape her past."

Zach stands by the front door and Susan is at the kitchen table.

Mary Alice's House

Focus in on the original picture of the five women hugging each other and smiling for the camera.

"I not only watch, I cheer them on, these amazing women. I hope so much they'll find what they're looking for."

Mike pulls in the street in his truck. He pulls into his driveway and walks into his house. Zach and Susan hear him walk up the stairs.

"But I know not all of them will. Sadly, that’s just not the way life works. Not everyone gets a happy ending."

Mike walks into his house and closes the door behind him.

~ The End ~

This spoiler episode was compiled and completed on June 4, 2005 by Amanda Lane (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com) and Lucy.
Last Update: November 5, 2005

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