This was typed by Lucy, Wayne Manuel, and Amanda, mere humans, and mistakes are possible. If you find any, no matter how trivial, please let me know. (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)

In the interest of finishing the transcripts faster, screen caps will not be placed on the transcripts until further notice. You can find screen caps at the following websites:
Desperate Housewives
Wisteria Lane
The Suburbs

If you know of any other screen caps sites, please e-mail them to me: (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)

Guest stars
"Tom Scavo" - Doug Savant
"Martha Huber" - Christine Estabrook
"Felicia Tilman" - Harriet Sansom Harris
"George Williams" - Roger Bart
"Annabel Foster" - Melinda McGraw
"Mr. Shaw" - Richard Roundtree
"Father Crowley" - Jeff Doucette
"Preston Scavo" - Brent Kinsman
"Porter Scavo" - Shane Kinsman
"Sophie Bremmer" - Lesley Ann Warren
"Parker Scavo" - Zane Huett
"Ginger" - Lauren Cohn
"Fireman" - Bill Ferrell
"Saleswoman" - Nikki Snelson
"Phil" - Pat Towne

Written by: Adam Barr
Directed by: Jeff Melman

Susan’s House

Susan is sitting on her bed, writing. She glances at a photo of her with Julie as a baby.

"Since she was a little girl, Susan Mayer wanted to be a mother in the worst way."

Flashback of Susan laying baby Julie on the couch.

Susan: "Oh, where's your bottom? You're so cute. Yeah."

"And from the first day she brought Julie home from the hospital..."

Susan walks away to get the baby powder. When she turns back, Julie is no longer on the couch.

Susan: "Oh! Ooh, how did you get down there?"

"She was."

Susan picks up Julie.

Susan: "Oh, my goodness."

Flashback of Susan grabbing the diaper bag and her keys and purse and rushing out the door. When the door slams shut behind her, baby Julie begins crying in the background.

"Despite her desire to do well by her daughter, Susan suffered through countless failures."

Susan runs back into the house.

Susan: "Oh, I'm so sorry! How did I forget you?"

Flashback of Susan pushing the playground merry-go-round with a young Julie standing on it.

"Of course, it took Susan a few years to realize even the best of parents make mistakes now and then."

Susan looks down to brush off her overalls and when she looks back up, Julie has fallen off the merry-go-round. Susan goes running to get her.

Back to Susan sitting in bed. She hears a tapping noise at the window. She gets up to check it out.

"But now that Julie was a teenage girl, Susan had started to realize there was no room for error."

Susan looks outside to see Zach throwing pebbles at Julie window.

She goes to Julie's room and opens the door. Julie is lying in bed with a pillow over her head. She lifts up the pillow when she hears her mother.

Susan: "Julie, what is Zach doing out there? I thought I told you not to speak to him anymore."
Julie: "I'm not. That's why he's throwing gravel at my window."
Susan: "All right, that's it. I'm gonna handle this once and for all."

Outside, Zach looks up at Julie’s window. He reaches down for a handful of pebbles. Just as Susan opens the window, Zach throws all of the pebbles.

Susan: "Zach, what do you think you're-"

The pebbles strike Susan in the face.

Susan: "Ow! Aah! Oh! Oh!"

Julie runs to the window as Susan backs away holding her face. Zach sees Julie and waves.

In the Mayer's living room, Susan lies on the couch while Julie puts eye drops in Susan’s eyes. Zach is there, also.

Zach: "Ms. Mayer, I am so sorry. It's just, one pebble wasn't working, so I tried a whole handful."
Susan: "Ow, ow."
Zach: "Look, I'll make it up to you."
Susan: "Oh, how? Are you gonna give me your corneas?"
Julie: "Mom, lay back."
Zach: "I just wanted to talk to Julie. She hasn't been returning my phone calls."
Julie: "Well, I'm here now. What do you want?"
Zach: "Come on, Julie. I just want to see you again. You know, talk, hang out."
Julie: "Maybe it would be better if we just cooled it for a while, okay?"
Zach: "Why?"
Susan: "Well, you just threw rocks in her mother's face. How's that for a start?"

Zach stares at Julie then walks out of the house.

Julie: "Thank you so much. I have been trying to find a way to break up with him for weeks. You finally gave me an excuse."

"Yes, Susan had failed many times as a mother."

Julie: "You did good, mom."

"So she took her victories where she found them."

Susan: "You're welcome."

Credits

Wisteria Lane

"Spring comes every year to Wisteria Lane. It's the time when flowers start to bloom, when butterflies emerge from their cocoons, when bees begin to search for nectar. Spring is also the time when a young man's fancy turns to obsession."

At a garden show, George leans over to smell some flowers. He looks over to see Bree and Rex off to the side. He walks over to them.

George: "Hello there."
Bree: "Oh, my heavenly days. Rex, look! It's George."
George: "It's nice to see you, Bree. Dr. Van de Kamp."
Rex: "George."
George: "So, how's your health?"
Rex: "Not good, and my cardiologist is an idiot."
Bree: "The doctor upped his dosage twice, and it's still not helping."
George: "I'm sure it'll all work itself out. You know, it's funny running into you both. I happen to have extra tickets to a bonsai exposition in Mt. Pleasant Friday night. Would you like to go?"
Bree: "I would love to. Rex?"
Rex: "A whole evening of bonsai trees? Wouldn't it just be easier to shoot me?"
George: "Probably."

George and Bree laugh. Bree puts her hand on George’s shoulder. Rex notices how George reaches up and touches where Bree’s hand had been.

Bree: "Well, why don't we just go by ourselves, then?"
Rex: "Uh, actually, Bree, we, we have that thing Friday night."
Bree: "What thing? We don't have a thing."
George: "I think what your husband is trying to say is that he doesn't want you going out with me."
Bree: "Rex, are you still jealous?"
Rex: "No."
Bree: "It's true that we dated during the separation, but George and I are just friends now, aren't we?"
George: "Strictly platonic. But if you feel threatened..."
Rex: "I don't feel threatened."
Bree: "Good. Then it's a date."

She takes each of the men by an arm and they begin walking slowly.

George: "So are you gonna make a purchase today?"
Bree: "Do you know, I have finally convinced Rex to buy his first orchid."
George: "Make sure you study up. I hate people who own precious flowers who don't know how to take proper care of them."
Rex: "You know what I hate? Weeds. They just pop up out of nowhere, and you have to work so hard to get rid of them."
George: "I find with the right chemicals, you can get rid of almost anything." (to Bree) "See you Friday."

George walks away.

Car Dealership

Gabrielle is walking around a blue sporty convertible. A saleswoman walks up.

Saleswoman: "Mrs. Solis. What a surprise. We haven't seen you in here in quite some time."
Gabrielle: "Yes, yes, I know. My husband and I went through a downsizing phase, but we've snapped out of it. Life is good. Oh, and this would make it so much better."
Saleswoman: "Excellent. Slip inside. See how that feels."

Gabrielle slides into the driver’s seat.

Gabrielle: "Oh. I'd love to have this in my driveway by Saturday. I'm having a big barbecue. I want everyone to see it."
Saleswoman: "How exciting. What's the occasion?"
Gabrielle: "I'm throwing my husband a going-away party."
Saleswoman: "Really? Where's he going?"
Gabrielle: "It's, um, it's a sort of government-sponsored sabbatical."
Saleswoman: "How long is he gonna be gone?"
Gabrielle: "Eight months. Six with good behavior."

Gabrielle puts her finger to her nose as though something smelly is bothering her.

Saleswoman: "Isn't the leather interior wonderful?"
Gabrielle: "It is. It is. It's just the smell's a little intense."
Saleswoman: "That's because it was imported from Italy. It's one-hundred percent Italian calf."

Gabrielle, still sitting in the driver’s seat, begins to gag, then vomits onto the floor of the passenger seat.

Later, Gabrielle and the saleswoman are walking toward the car while two maintenance men with face masks are in the car cleaning it.

Gabrielle: "I am so sorry. It just hit me out of nowhere. You know, it's so weird. Smells have been making me nauseous lately."
Saleswoman: "Boobs tender? Achy back?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah. Has it been going around?"
Saleswoman: "Only for centuries. I went through it all when I was carrying my oldest. The truth is, you're never gonna fit a child safety seat in the back of that tiny Spyder anyway. The four-doors are much roomier."
Gabrielle: "What, wait, uh, I'm sorry, you, you think I'm pregnant? No, I'm not pregnant."
Saleswoman: "Oh, you just have all the symptoms. I-I just assumed..."
Gabrielle: "Well, you assumed wrong."
Saleswoman: "Well, I'm sorry."
Gabrielle: "I'm on the pill, for god's sakes!"
Saleswoman: "Okay."
Gabrielle: "You know, and another thing, I don't want a four-door. I want a sexy little convertible, and I want to buy one right now!"
Saleswoman: "I'll go start the paperwork."
Gabrielle: "Well, not this one. I vomited in this one."
Saleswoman: "Right. We'll find you a fresh one."

Peterson Advertising

Lynette enters, holding a file. She nods to the receptionist as she walks by.

Lynette walks into Tom’s office. She sees Tom and a young woman leaning toward each other over Tom’s desk. Tom looks up.

Tom: "Lynette!"
Lynette: "You forgot your Halpern file."

The woman turns.

Annabel: "Oh, my god. Lynette."

"If there was one person Lynette never expected to see again, it was Annabel Foster. Eight years earlier, Annabel had begged Tom to marry her, but he told her he wasn't the marrying kind."

Flashback to Tom and Annabel kissing in the elevator. When the doors open, they separate.

"Then one day, Tom happened to meet a rising young executive by the name of Lynette Lindquist."

Flashback to Tom and Annabel in the elevator. Annabel kisses Tom then steps out just when a younger Lynette steps in. Their eyes meet.

"And after a few torrid weeks, Tom decided perhaps he was the marrying kind after all."

Flashback to the elevator door opening. Tom and Lynette are kissing passionately. Tom pushes a button in the elevator and the doors close as he continues kissing Lynette.

"...causing an embittered Annabel to move back to Chicago permanently. Or so Lynette had hoped."

Flashback to Annabel entering the empty elevator, carrying a box of all her belongings.

In the present day, Annabel approaches Lynette and hugs her.

Annabel: "You look fantastic."
Lynette: "Thank you. And you, you're here in the office. Tom’s office."
Annabel: "Yeah, going on three months now."
Lynette: "Oh."
Annabel: "Didn't Tom tell you?"
Lynette: "It, uh, must have slipped his mind."

Tom laughs in the background. Annabel turns toward Tom.

Annabel: "Ah, afraid to tell the wife you're working with the old girlfriend, huh? I guess that makes me your dirty little secret."
Lynette: "Well, I'll let you get back to work. See you later."
Tom: "Can't wait."
Lynette: "Oh, I almost forgot. Your file. Here."

Lynette throws the file at Tom, hard.

Annabel: "Whoa."

Tom catches it. Lynette waves to him with a meaningful look in her eye and leaves the office.

Construction site

Edie is looking over blueprints. Mike Delfino is working close by. Paul walks up.

Edie: "Hey, Paul. What's up?"
Paul: "Something's been nagging me, Edie. I wanted to talk to you about it."
Edie: "Okay."
Paul: "That night I found you in my house -- why were you really there?"
Edie: "Well, you know why. I came by to drop off your key."
Paul: "Some things were moved around my living room. What were you looking for?"
Edie: "What are you talking about?"
Paul: "Do I have to call the police?"
Edie: "Do whatever you want."
Paul: "Suit yourself."

Paul begins to walk away.

Edie: "Okay. Okay. Susan made me do it."

Mike looks up when he hears Susan’s name.

Edie: "She has this fixation on why Mary Alice killed herself, and she keeps blathering on about blackmail notes and dead babies. Oh, and she got really hot and bothered when she found the name Angela written on one of your video tapes."
Paul: "Did she find what she was looking for?"
Edie: "No, you came home before she had a chance to watch the video."
Paul: "I see."
Edie: "She sort of thinks you're evil."
Paul: "Thank you, Edie."

As Paul walks away, Mike walks up to Edie.

Mike: "What was that all about?"
Edie: "Susan Mayer's obsession with Mary Alice almost got me arrested. Now Paul's after her. If I liked her better, I'd warn her, but, you know."

Coffee Shop

Susan buys a cup of coffee.

Susan: "Thanks."

She begins walking to the door when she sees Mike coming in the front door. She searches for a way out and then sits down at a table with three strangers who stare at her. Mike approaches the table.

Mike: "Susan?"

Susan stands up.

Susan: "Uh, I'll talk to you girls later."
Mike: "Still avoiding me, huh?"
Susan: "No, no. What do you want?"
Mike: "I heard that you and Edie broke into Paul Young's house."
Susan: "Who told you that?"
Mike: "Edie."
Susan: "Well, yeah, we did. Um, we were just looking. It doesn't matter. It was dumb."
Mike: "Listen, I want you to stay away from that guy."
Susan: "Well, I was planning on doing that anyway."
Mike: "Good."
Susan: "Mike? I know why I was planning on staying away from him. Why do you want me to stay away from him?"
Mike: "I just know he's a bad guy. So, please, don't mess with him."
Susan: "I won't. I promise."

Susan watches Mike leave the coffee shop.

Bree's House

Bree is arranging flower when Rex walks in.

Rex: "So. I've been thinking about the pharmacist."
Bree: "George. What about him?"
Rex: "I don't think you should go out with him."
Bree: "Please don't be this way. He's the only friend I have who's interested in cultural things."
Rex: "Bree. I'm worried because he is obviously still in love with you."
Bree: "No, he just wants to be friends. He told me so."
Rex: "Well, what else would a man in love say? He's desperate to spend time with you."
Bree: "He does not seem desperate to me."
Rex: "I saw the way hands trembled when you touched his shoulder."
Bree: "They did?"
Rex: "When we first started dating, the same thing happened to me."
Bree: "I don't remember that."
Rex: "Listen, continuing to see him would just be giving him false hope."
Bree: "Well, I certainly don't want to hurt him...again."
Rex: "No. You don't. I even think it would be a good idea to switch pharmacies."
Bree: "Really? Well, okay. You know what I'm gonna miss most about him? George always has a way of making me good about myself."
Rex (sarcastically): "Yeah, he's a terrific guy."
Bree: "Honey, do your hands still tremble when they touch me?"
Rex (laughing): "No. But come on, we've been married eighteen years."
Bree: "Yes, we have. And you still don't know when I need you to lie."

Bree walks out and Rex takes his medication.

Drug Store

An employee, Ginger, is stocking the shelves. Gabrielle approaches.

Gabrielle: "Excuse me. Um, this home pregnancy test -- is it a good one?"
Ginger: "I guess."
Gabrielle: "Okay, um, do you have a restroom?"
Ginger: "It's for employees only."

George approaches.

George: "Oh, it's right over there, Mrs. Solis. Help yourself."
Gabrielle: "Thank you".
George: "What did I tell you about being rude to customers? You'll stick a smile on your face, or I'll keep you in back stocking shelves where no one has to look at you."

Bree walks into the drug store.

George: "Bree. What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here? Didn't we just fill Dr. Van de Kamp's prescription last week?"
Bree: "George, as it turns out, I won't be able to go with you to the bonsai expo."
George: "Oh. Why not?"
Bree: "I think it'd be a mistake for us to spend too much time together."
George: "Dr. Van de Kamp said something about me. What was it?"
Bree: "It doesn't matter."
George: "Please, tell me."
Bree: "He said you're still in love with me."
George: "That's, that's stupid. I'm not in love with you. I'm not. The truth is, I'm in love with Ginger."
Bree: "Ginger, the stock girl?"
George: "Yes. It's very serious."

They turn to look at Ginger, who smiles at them.

Bree: "Oh. Why didn't you tell me?"
George: "Well, we're taking it slow, but she is definitely the one."
Bree: "Oh, my goodness. Well, this changes everything. Listen, um, a friend of mine is having a barbecue for her husband on Saturday, and I think you should come."
George: "Really?"
Bree: "Yes, and bring Ginger."
George: "Ginger...I don't know if she can make it."
Bree: "Well, you have to bring Ginger, because if Rex sees the two of you together, then he'll relax."
George: "Oh. Uh, okay."
Gabrielle (from the bathroom): "Son of a bitch!"

She comes out into the store and sees Bree talking to George.

Gabrielle: (to George) "You are out of toilet paper. (to Bree) Bree, I'll call you later."

Gabrielle rushes out of the store as Bree, George and Ginger watch her.

Scavo House

Tom walks in the front door.

Tom: "Lynette? Hey, honey? Are you home?"
Lynette: "Three months?"

Lynette is in the corner of the room and frightens Tom.

Tom: "God, you, you scared the hell out of me."
Lynette: "Were you ever gonna tell me?"
Tom: "I wanted to, but I kept putting it off. I knew how you'd react."
Lynette: "Congratulations. You read me like a book. Why would you hire that woman?"
Tom: "Look, technically, Peterson found her. I just vouched for her."
Lynette: "Tom..."
Tom: "Come on, honey, I'm just helping her out. It's the least I can do. Look, she was devastated when I left her for you. I felt bad."
Lynette: "Do you still have feelings for her?"
Tom: "All right, I'm not talking to you."
Lynette: "Come on, you can tell me. You still care about her, don't you, just a teeny, tiny little bit."
Tom: "I was just trying to be a good guy. That's all."
Lynette: "Well, you can't work with her."
Tom: "What do you want me to do, quit?"
Lynette: "Talk to Peterson. Maybe he can get her transferred. I mean, weren't you guys planning on starting something up in Belize?"
Tom: "Honey, you're crazy."
Lynette: "No, I'm serious. If she stays, I will haunt your office. I'll bring you lunch every day. I'll bring the kids to visit. I will change diapers on your desk. Every birthday cake in the break room, every retirement party, I will be there. Watching her."
Tom: "Well, I better get you a parking space, 'cause she's staying."

Tom walks upstairs.

Susan’s House

Sophie is hanging up beaded curtains in the doorway.

Sophie: "Don't you think it spices up the room?"

The doorbell rings and Susan goes to answer. She opens the door to find Zach leaving a potted flower by the door.

Zach: "Ah, I was just leaving you a gift to apologize for, you know, throwing gravel in your face."
Susan: "Well, you didn't have to do that."
Zach: "No, I kind of did. See, I want us to be friends."
Susan: "Yeah, well, that's not gonna happen."
Zach: "Why not?"
Susan: "Aside from you blinding me? You know, several weeks ago, you freaked out in my house. You screamed, you threw furniture around."
Zach: "Okay, well, I realize that I was out of line that night, but I was upset. And we have to get over that for Julie's sake."
Susan: "For Julie's sake?"
Zach: "How do you think it makes her feel that her mother and her boyfriend can't even get along?"
Susan: "Hey, Zach, Julie does not think of you as her boyfriend. In fact, I don't think she wants anything to do with you."
Zach: "She said that?"
Susan: "Yeah."
Zach: "I don't believe you."
Susan: "Believe whatever you want."

She pushes the flowers back into his hands and turns to walk back inside the house.

Zach (yelling): "Well, if she did, it's because you tell her stuff about me that's not true!"

Paul Young, standing on his porch, yells out to Zach.

Paul: "Zach! Come here! Right now!"

Felicia, next door, watering her plants, looks up at Paul's yelling.

Zach (to Susan): "Please. Don't ruin this for me."

Susan looks at Paul on his porch across the street, then walks into her house and closes the door.

Felicia watches as Zach walks back to his house.

Flashback to a conversation she had with her sister, Martha Huber.

Martha is looking at a framed photograph as Felicia pours coffee.

Martha: "How do you know Mary Alice?"
Felicia: "Who?"
Martha: "Mary Alice Young. She lives next door to me in Fairview."

Martha walks over to Felicia with the picture of a group of nurses. Mary Alice is in the middle of the picture.

Martha: "She's standing right here in this picture with you."
Felicia: "That's Angela Forrest. We worked together at the rehab center fifteen years ago."
Martha: "Don't be dense, Felicia. Don't you think I know my own neighbor?"

Felicia looks at the picture again.

Felicia: "Does this Mary Alice have children?"
Martha: "A teenager. A boy."

Martha sees the strange look on her sister’s face.

Martha: "What?"
Felicia: "Angela and I worked together with a very disturbed young woman who gave birth to a baby boy. About a year later, Angela and her husband disappeared. Not long after that, I heard that the child was missing, too. People said it was just a coincidence, but in my heart, I always hoped that she had given him a proper home."
Martha: "Are you saying she stole the baby?"
Felicia: "Don't look shocked, Martha. It makes your face look fat. The biological mother was a drug addict. If Angela really is your neighbor, which I doubt, then that child was very lucky."

In present day, Felicia watches Zach enter his home with Paul.

Peterson Advertising

Annabel is having some coffee. She sees Lynette enter the office.

Annabel: "Lynette, hey. Oh, if you're looking for Tom, he's out with a client."
Lynette: "No, I actually wanted to see you."
Annabel: "You know, that's really funny. I was thinking the same thing. I've been here all this time. We should go out for lunch, just the two of us."
Lynette: "Yeah, I'll check my book. So, Annabel, do you have feelings for Tom?
Annabel: "What?"
Lynette: "You heard me."
Annabel: "Okay, you want to talk about this, Lynette? Let's talk. Yes, Tom and I were in love, but he married you. I'm not looking to break up a happy couple. Anyway, that's really more your speed, isn't it?"

An office worker enters and passes between them to get coffee from the table behind them.

Office Worker: "Morning, ladies. Just coming in for a little more fuel. Yep, one man's sludge is another man's liquid gold. Well, back to the trenches."

The worker walks between them again and leaves the room.

Lynette: "Watch your step! Tom and we're a team. Our marriage is rock solid. Nothing you do could ever break that up."
Annabel: "Then why are you down here right now warning me?"

Annabel leaves the room.

Church

In front of the church, Father Crowley is shaking hands as members of his congregation pass by. He turns around and sees Gabrielle standing behind him.

Father Crowley: "Gabrielle. What brings you down here? Oh, sweet mother of god, what have you done this time?"

Gabrielle and the Priest are walking down the corridor.

Father Crowley: "You're pregnant?"
Gabrielle: "Yes, and it's impossible. I am on the pill. Which I know you probably think is a sin, but it works. It's a ninety-nine point nine percent effective sin."
Father Crowley: "Well, maybe it's in that one-tenth of a percent that God resides."
Gabrielle: "Couldn't wait to throw that in, could you? Look, God is screwing with me. He doesn't like the way I live my life, so he's punishing me."
Father Crowley: "Well, have you done something that would warrant being punished? The gardener? I thought that was over."
Gabrielle: "Well, it was, and then, and, well, you just had to be there. Look, that's my point is I'd be an awful mother. I'm selfish, and I'm self-centered, and the only person more self-centered than me is Carlos. I mean, he's so self-centered that he doesn't even know how self-centered I am. We'd be terrible parents."
Father Crowley: "Gabrielle, I'd like to help, but I'm not exactly sure what it is you want."
Gabrielle: "You know, it's just, I want to know who to be angry at."
Father Crowley: "Here's a thought. Don't be angry. Be thankful. Children are a gift, are they not?"
Gabrielle: "I don't have time for this crap. I have a party to plan."

She walks away.

Construction Site

At the construction site, Edie looks over blueprints with some of the workers.

Edie: "Thanks."

The workers walk away as Lynette approaches.

Lynette: "Edie. Hey."
Edie: "Hi."
Lynette: "Wow, things are really coming along."
Edie: "Yeah, slowly and expensively."
Lynette: "Well, it'll be worth it. You're doing an amazing job. So, look, you're basically a predator, and I need some advice."

Later, Lynette and Edie are sitting together.

Lynette: "And I know Tom loves me, but I don't trust this woman. I think there's an agenda there. I don't know. Maybe I'm being paranoid."
Edie: "No, no. You did the right thing coming to me. There are two ways to approach this. Well, first I have to ask: what kind of shape is this woman in?"
Lynette: "Fantastic shape. She's gorgeous."
Edie: "Okay, now there's really only one way to approach this. You're gonna have to act fast."
Lynette: "I'm, I'm listening."
Edie: "Well, it's really pretty simple. When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in. I make her my best friend."
Lynette: "I thought you said you didn't have any female friends."
Edie: "I don't. And I've never felt threatened by another woman, either. But the point is keep your friends close..."
Lynette: "...keep your enemies closer."

Lynette's House

Tom is sitting on the couch playing with the baby. Lynette enters.

Lynette: "Tom. We're having a dinner party. I'm thinking of inviting Annabel."

Lynette walks out and Tom looks after her, a worried expression on his face.

Paul's House

Zach is washing his face in the sink.

Zach: "We're not moving."
Paul: "Susan knows something. Edie said she found-"
Zach: "I don't care what Edie Britt said! I'm not leaving Julie."
Paul: "You want to risk our lives, our future, over some schoolyard crush?"
Zach: "It is more than that. Julie loves me."
Paul: "Then why does she refuse to see you?"
Zach: "Mrs. Mayer lies to her. If it wasn't for that, she would be with me."
Paul: "Are you sure? You know, Julie's a very special girl."
Zach: "I know."
Paul: "She could have just about any boy she wanted. I think you're a wonderful kid, I do, but... you're not that special, Zach. Not really."
Zach: "But she kissed me."
Paul: "Lately? Let's just pack our bags and get out of here. We can leave this whole mess behind. We can start over. And there will be other girls, I promise."
Zach: "No."

Paul grabs Zach as he begins to walk away.

Paul: "If Susan goes to the police, it's over. They'll take me away. They'll take you away. Don't you get that?"
Zach: "If Julie doesn't love me anymore, then it doesn't matter. None of it matters."

Lynette's House - Dinnertime

Tom and Annabel sitting at the table laughing and talking while Lynette is clearing dishes behind them.

Annabel: "Oh, McGruder had absolutely no idea what was going on. During the entire ship for the Phaser campaign, he was practically holding Benson's hand."
Tom: "After the way that Burnham screwed him over, I'd be nervous, too, my god."
Annabel: "It was awful."

Annabel holds Tom’s hand. Lynette sees this and steps between them.

Lynette: "Excuse me. I need to get in here so I can clear the plates."
Tom: "Hey, honey, you want some help with that?"
Lynette: "Oh, I’m good."

Lynette looks up to the stairs and sees the boys sitting there, watching them.

Lynette: "Looks like we got company."
Tom: "Hey, guys, isn't it time for bed?"
Lynette: "Oh, they never get to see you. Let 'em stay up for a while."
Tom: (to the boys) "Okay, come here. Come here. I want you to meet someone. This is Ms. Foster."
Annabel: "Hi."
Lynette: "She's an old, old friend of your daddy's."
Annabel: "Hey, what you got there?"
Twin: "It's a picture we painted."
Annabel: "Oh, let me have a look at that."

It’s a picture the boys painted of their family standing under a rainbow.

Twin: "It's all of us with mommy and daddy. We're really happy."
Annabel: "Oh, that is so adorable. When did you do this?"
Twin: "Today. Mom told us to."
Lynette: "I just told them to paint something nice. The sentiment's all theirs."
Twin: "But you told us to!"
Lynette: "Hold on, honey. Grown-ups are talking."
Annabel: "Well, this is really neat. Hey, how would you boys like to paint my portrait one day?"
Twin: "Sure. You're pretty."
Lynette: "Okay, great. Uh, so like your dad said, it's time for bed."
Tom: "I'll take them back upstairs. Come on, guys."
Lynette: "Thank you."

She gives Tom a quick kiss as he passes by her.

Tom: "Uh-huh."
Twin: "I'm gonna beat you. 
Tom: "Here we go."

Annabel and Lynette are left alone at the table.

Annabel: "I must say, Lynette, your home is warm and inviting, your children are absolutely precious. This whole evening was practically a commercial for the perfect family."
Lynette: "You think?"
Annabel: "You couldn't have planned it any better. And I mean that."
Lynette: "Good."

Outside Susan's House - Nighttime

Paul: "Hello, Susan."
Susan: "Paul. Hi."
Paul: "I understand you and Edie went snooping through my house."
Susan: "Huh?"
Paul: "It's okay. I'm not mad. So, what do you want to know about Angela?"

Paul's House

Paul serves a cup of coffee to Susan sitting at the table.

Paul: "It was Mary Alice's birth name. She was named after her Aunt Angela. When she was a teenager, they had a falling out, so she changed her name to Mary Alice. This is before we were married, so you'll forgive me if I'm hazy on the details."
Susan: "That's it? That's the explanation?"
Paul: "Ridiculously simple, isn't it?"
Susan: "She changed her name because she got in a fight with her aunt? Paul, that just doesn't seem like something Mary Alice would do."
Paul: "Neither did suicide, but we both know that she did it. So, can we finally put this behind us, or do you need to break into my home for anything else?"
Susan: "Uh, no. Um, I'm good. Thanks. Although if you wouldn't mind, I'd really like to see that videotape I found. The one marked "Angela." It'd be nice to see Mary Alice when she was young."
Paul: "I'm afraid that box of tapes was thrown out with the trash."
Susan: "Okay, then."
Paul: "Susan. I'm serious when I say I hope you'll leave my family alone now. This endless suspicion of yours has become very tiring."
Susan: "I couldn't agree more."

Susan walks out of Paul’s house.

Lynette's House

Lynette, Tom and Annabel are having coffee in the living room when a cell phone rings.

Annabel: "Oh, that's my cell. Sorry. Oh, god, it's Peterson. Excuse me."
Tom: "Peterson?"
Annabel: "Hello? Yeah."

Annabel leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Tom: "So this is quite a show you put on tonight."
Lynette: "Show?"
Tom: "The boys' paintings, all those references to how happy we are."
Lynette: "What's wrong with subtly reminding Annabel that you're happily married?"
Tom: "Because it wasn't subtle, and it's an insult to me."
Lynette: "I did not mean it that way."
Tom: "Are you so insecure that you have to pull that crap?"
Lynette: "Keep your voice down."
Tom: "It doesn't matter if she has feelings for me as long I am not interested. Have I ever, ever given you any reason to doubt me?"
Lynette: "Anyone is capable of anything. The first time we ever met, you were cheating."
Tom: "With you. Cheating with you."
Lynette: "It's a pattern of behavior."
Tom: "Oh, give me a break."
Lynette: "Well, what am I supposed to do? You hire your old girlfriend, and you don't tell me about it for three months?"
Tom: "I could have told you from day one, and you would still be jumping down my throat. No, Annabel is ancient history."
Lynette: "She's in the next room."
Tom: "How long do we have to be married, Lynette? How long until you actually trust me?"
Lynette: "I trust you."
Tom: "How many times have you said to me, "if you ever touch another woman, I will take the boys, and I will walk out of here, and you will never see us again"?"
Lynette: "Well, that's just something wives say to their husbands."
Tom: "Not all wives. God, Lynette, you're just so convinced that I'm gonna be unfaithful. It, it makes me sick. The distrust, the paranoia. You know, no, it seems like you're not gonna be happy until you drive me out of this marriage just to prove yourself right."

Tom sees the shocked look on Lynette’s face.

Tom: "Okay, wait, forget I said that."
Lynette: "It's too late. You said it."
Tom: "Well, then, just consider it something that husbands say to their wives."

Annabel comes back into the room.

Annabel: "Well, Peterson's on cloud nine. He discovered some inside scoop on the Metro account. The bad news is we're gonna have to redo the entire presentation."
Tom: "Tonight?"
Annabel: "They need it first thing in the morning. Peterson says we might be pulling an all-nighter."
Tom: "Well, I can't drive. I've been drinking."
Annabel: "I'll drive. Come on."
Tom: "Thanks."
Annabel: "Don't worry, Lynette. I'll deliver him back to you as soon as I can."
Lynette: "Please do."

Tom and Annabel leave. Tom takes a long look at Lynette who has her back to him as they leave.

Gabrielle's House

A large gathering of friends and neighbors are in the pool area of the Solis's house. Everyone's chatting or eating. Carlos is working the barbeque grill. Gabrielle is standing next to him. Carlos hangs the tongs to Gabrielle.

Carlos: "Honey, take over for a minute. I’m giving my speech."
Gabrielle: "Oh!"
Carlos: "Make sure they stay pink like that okay?"

Carlos grabs a drink and walks away. Gabrielle holds her nose. Susan and Julie approach.

Susan: "Are you okay?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, yeah, I just didn’t realize how disgusting meat could be."

Carlos taps his glass.

Carlos: "Everyone. I just wanted to say that it really means a lot to me that all of you came and as you know, in a few days, I will be taking a little government-sponsored vacation."

In the crowd are Bree and Rex, Edie and Felicia, and Sophie. Gabrielle is still at the grill, turning the meat.

Carlos: "Lucky for me, breakfast is included."

Crowd laughs.

Julie: "Oh, God."

Julie sees Paul and Zach.

Carlos: "The bottom line is, I’m going away to jail. And when a man goes away to jail, which I hope none of you here ever have to do, he sees who his real friends are. So, thanks."

Carlos raises his glass. Everyone follows suit.

Everyone: "Hear, hear!"

Gabrielle, still turning the meat, begins to gag. She holds her mouth and runs into the house. As she runs by Sophie, she grabs the bottle of champagne in Sophie’s hand.

Sophie: "Excuse you!"

George and Ginger enter the party.

George: "Stay put till I need you. Don’t talk to anyone and for God’s sake, don’t get drunk."
Ginger: "You know, I was supposed to go to my cousin’s wedding today."
George: "It’s not a wedding, it’s a commitment ceremony. Now sit down and try to fit in."

George walks away.

Inside the house, Gabrielle enters the bathroom with the bottle of champagne and leans over the sink. She pushes the window closed.

Gabrielle: "Oh!"

She runs to the wall and turns on the overhead fan. She looks as though she is ready to vomit and leans over the sink again.

Gabrielle: "Oh!"

Outside, Julie is sitting all alone. Zach, carrying a plate, comes over.

Zach: "I got you a hot dog."
Julie: "No thanks, I’m full."
Zach: "They have a croquet set. Want to go hit some balls?"
Julie: "No."
Zach: "Oh that’s fine. We can just sit here."
Julie: "Zach! I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to hang out with you. I just want you to leave me alone. Okay?"
Zach: "Okay."

Zach walks away as Julie stares after him.

In the bathroom, Gabrielle pours herself a glass of champagne. She stares at it and sighs, then pours it into the sink. She looks over on the counter and pulls out her birth control pills. She places the container on the counter and starts to hit it over and over. She sees that the foil on the back of the package is open.

"In that moment, while looking at the pills that had been so obviously tampered with, Gabrielle's nausea was suddenly replaced by an even stronger sensation: rage."

Outside, Zach watches as Julie hugs a male friend. Bree is talking to friends and sees George approaching with a glass in hand. Rex rushes up and pulls George around. George’s drink splashed onto Rex.

Rex: "What are you doing?"
George: "I am so sorry. That was an accident."
Rex: "Answer my question. What are you doing here?"
George: "I was invited."
Rex: "By who?"
George: "You know what, Dr. Van de Kamp? I don't believe I have to answer to you."
Rex: "See, I think you do."

Bree approaches.

Bree: "What's going on here?"
Rex: "He crashed the party. This guy clearly is not taking no for an answer."
Bree: "It's okay. George has a girlfriend. You brought her, didn't you?"
Rex: "He doesn't have a girlfriend."
George: "I do so. She's right over there."

George points at Ginger who is eating.

Rex: "That's his girlfriend?"
Bree: See? We were worried for nothing."
George: "So any time you want to apologize..."
Bree: Oh, come on, Rex. You owe George some sort of gesture."

Rex turns away then turns back.

Bree: (to George) "I’m sorry."
Rex: "Oh, what the hell?"

Rex pushes George into the pool. George grabs Bree’s hand just before falling in, pulling Bree in with him.

Ginger stands there laughing, while the crowd is shocked.

Bree: "Rex, have you lost your mind?"
Rex: "To be fair, I only pushed him."

Gabrielle comes running out of the house.

Gabrielle: "Carlos, you son of a bitch. I am pregnant, and it's all your fault!"

Gabrielle holds up the pills that Carlos had switched. She slaps Carlos and stomps back into the house. Susan looks on, shocked. Carlos smiles.

Edie turns to Felicia, who’s standing next to her.

Edie: "Wow! This is turning into one hell of a party."

Gabrielle is standing in her front yard. Susan runs after her.

Susan: "Are you okay?"
Gabrielle: "I think I can honestly say no, I'm not."
Susan: "I'm sorry."
Gabrielle: "Thanks."
Susan: "But you know what they say about kids: that you can't imagine having them until you do, and then you can't imagine life without them. It's true. All I'm saying is maybe this is a blessing in disguise."
Gabrielle: "I don't know who the father is."
Susan: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah."
Susan: "So you mean you and John have still been..."
Gabrielle: "Yeah."
Susan: "Gabby!"
Gabrielle: "Oh, I know, Susan, but I don't know what I'm gonna do."

Suddenly, there’s an explosion from across the street. It’s Susan’s house, and her kitchen window blows out.

Susan and Gabrielle scream.

Susan: "Oh, oh, oh, my god! Oh, my god, that's, that's my house!"
Gabrielle: "I'll call nine-one-one!"
Susan: "Yes, that's, that's, that's my house! Oh! Oh! Oh, my, oh, my, look, my kitchen! Oh, it's a big fire!"

Susan's House

A fireman, Susan, Sophie, and Julie enter the burnt kitchen.

Fireman: "Turns out someone left the gas on with candles burning."
Susan: "That's not possible. We don't burn candles during the day."
Sophie: "Uh, well, I did have a, a French vanilla candle burning earlier, but, but I'm almost positive I, I blew it out."
Fireman: "You're almost positive?"

Sophie closes her eyes and makes the motions of blowing out a candle.

Sophie: "Yes. I did. I-I did, I-I think."
Fireman: "Look, you're lucky the fire was contained. The damage could have been far more extensive. You've got to be more careful from now on."

Susan looks out the burnt window and in the crowd she can see Paul Young standing in his yard looking her way. Once Paul sees Susan looking, he turns and enters his house.

Susan: "Don't worry. We will be."

Drug Store

George is working with prescriptions. Bree enters the store.

George: "Bree, hi."
Bree: "Hi. You left the party so quickly, I didn't have a chance to apologize to you for what Rex did. Oh, George, I'm so sorry he humiliated you in front of all those people. I don't know what got into him."
George: "Isn't it obvious? He hates me."
Bree: "No, he doesn't hate you. He doesn't even know you, and you don't really even know him."
George: "Well, I know this much: he's not gonna let us be friends."
Bree: "Well, that's not his choice to make."
George: "What if he asked you not to see me anymore? What if he orders you not to?"
Bree: "Well, I decide who I need in my life, and I've decided that I need you, and that's all there is to it."
George: "He could make it awfully difficult for you to spend time with me."
Bree: "Well, who says he has to know how I spend my free time?"

They smile at each other.

Susan's House

Susan picks up the phone book. She thumbs through it and runs her finger down the page until she stops at a listing for ‘Hafts Detective Agency.’

Susan: "I'm having trouble with the family across the street. I think one of them may have set a fire in my house, and I don't know why, but - I feel like it's got something to do with my friend who killed herself. I called the police, but they didn't take me seriously."

Susan is sitting in the detective’s office.

Susan: "This family's got a secret. A bad secret. I think I'm in over my head. I need you to find out everything there is to know about Paul Young and his family. Do you think you can help me?"
Private Investigator: "As a matter of fact, I know I can."

The detective is the same investigator who helped Paul Young find out who wrote the threatening note to his wife that resulted in her suicide.

Wisteria Lane - Dusk

"Spring comes every year to Wisteria Lane, but not everyone remembers to stop and smell the flowers. Some are too busy worrying about the future..."

Lynette's House

Lynette is sitting on her front porch, holding the baby. Tom comes out and kisses her on the head before he leaves for work. Lynette looks worried as she watches Tom leave.

Gabrielle's House

"Or mistakes they've made in the past."

Gabrielle is on her porch reading. She reaches down and puts her hand on her stomach.

Garden

"Others are preoccupied with not getting caught."

Bree walks down the street looking around as though checking to see if anyone is watching. George is waiting for her and they walk away arm in arm.

Susan's House

A workman is holding Susan’s new window.

Susan: "It’s a window."

Workman laughs. Susan lets the workman inside.

"Or thinking of ways to catch someone else."

Susan turns to close the door. She sees Paul across the street staring at her.

Martha Huber's House

"Still, there will always be a few who remember to take a moment and appreciate what spring has given them."

Felicia is working in her garden surrounded by flowers.

Bedroom

"Just as there will always be those who prefer to sit in the dark brooding over everything they've lost."

Focus in on somebody holding a lighter, its flame dancing. The camera moves up to show that it's Zach holding the lighter as he lies in bed, looking at a small collage of photos on his wall, all of Julie.

~ The End ~

This spoiler episode was compiled and completed on May 7, 2005 by Amanda Lane (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com), Wayne Manuel, and Lucy.
Last Update: July 9, 2005

Return to EPISODES
Return to HOME