Episode 01.18 - "Children Will Listen" Mary Alice: "There were many things Gabrielle Solis knew for certain. She knew red was her color. She knew diamonds went with everything and she knew men were all the same. But the one thing Gabrielle knew above all else...she would never want children. Unfortunately for Gabrielle, her husband, Carlos, felt differently. Yes, Gabrielle Solis knew without a doubt she didn't want to be a mother, but what she couldn't know was just how much her husband wanted to be a father, or that he'd been tampering with her birth control for months. Or that within one week’s time, she'd be pregnant." Bree: "Well, I am making him his care package. I mean he'll know that I'm thinking about him." Rex: "Why are you putting in lemon squares? They told us not to send him sweets." Bree: "Well, I don't understand why." Rex: "I guess they feel baked goods from mom undercut the boot camp experience." Sophie: "Well, it’s nice meeting you anyway, Mike." Mike: "You too, and I never would've guessed that you were Susan’s mom." Sophie: "I know, I look too young. I got pregnant when I was a tiny teenager." Susan: "Okay." Sophie: "It was the first time I got drunk ever. Can you believe it?" Susan: "Let’s go." Sophie: "Her father was a marine. Afterwards he gave me three of his medals." Susan: "Mom!" Sophie: "What?" Susan: "Let’s just go inside and call the insurance company." Sophie: "All right." Susan: "And what are you smiling about?" Mike: "I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered." Sophie: "You think men his age don't have needs? You should see the waitresses he hires. Every year, they get younger and younger." Susan: "Maybe you just feel that way because every year you get older and older." Sophie: "Well, that’s a horrible thing to say." Susan: "I'm sorry." Sophie: "I'm not that old." Susan: "I said I was sorry." Sophie: "People think we're sisters." Susan: "Well, that’s 'cause you tell them that." Sophie: "One time. You've got to let go of that." Bree: "Porter, what did I tell you?" Porter: "But I'm hungry." Bree: "Well, then, I will fix you a very nice bowl of peaches and cottage cheese." Porter: "Ew, barf." Bree: "Don't be common, young man." Carlos: "If you try to divorce me while I'm gone, you get nothing." Gabrielle: "You don't trust me?" Carlos: "I'm afraid not." Zach: "You know, I've never actually been in Mrs. Huber’s house before." Felicia: "Obviously you haven't missed much. This is the place where good taste goes to die." Rex: "Bree, Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay." Bree: "What?" Rex: "That’s why he wanted me to come in first. He thought I could take it better." Bree: "Well, he was right. I will be waiting in the car." Susan: "If she moves in, she will burn up all my oxygen and I need it. Please, can't you give her another chance? You guys are really good together. You know? When there’s no violence." Morty: "Well, we do have chemistry." Susan: "Absolutely." Morty: "And the you know, sex was like, wow. I mean, there was this one time, we were coming home on the interstate." Susan: "You don't have to sell me." Mary Alice: "Children come into the world with their own agendas. Some to brighten our days, some to test our patience, some to give us purpose, some to take care of us. Yes, when they come children change everything. Especially when they're not invited."