Episode 01.05 - "Come In, Stranger" Gabrielle: "So why weren't you sitting with Mike tonight? I thought you two were becoming an item." Susan: "I sort of thought so, too. I'm getting a lot of mixed signals." Gabrielle: "I'll tell you who wasn't giving mixed signals was that sexy Officer Thompson. He was staring at you all night." Susan: "You noticed that?" Gabrielle: "Honey, trust me. When they're not staring at me, I notice." Lynette: "Your kids both went to Barcliff Academy, didn't they?" Bree: "Yes." Lynette: "We need you to recommend Porter and Preston. We can't even get an interview." Bree: "Oh, you, um, want me to recommend the twins?" Lynette: "Yes. You can tell them how beautifully behaved the boys are." Bree: "So you want me to lie." Lynette: "Yeah. I thought that was understood." Bree: "Well, it's just that I'm very well respected at Barcliff and um, my word won't be good there anymore." Lynette: "Yes, but by the time they realize their mistake, we'll be in. You're not having any more kids. What do you care?" Bree: "Well, I had hoped someday to get my grandchildren into Barcliff, but I suppose that doesn't matter to you, does it?" Lynette: "It really doesn't." Gabrielle: "Paul and Zach are fighting again." Lynette: "It's the second time this week. They never used to fight like that when Mary Alice was alive." Susan: "It's a shame. They used to be such a happy family." Bree: "Just because you didn't hear them fighting doesn't mean they were happy." Mama Solis: "Family should always hug. Regardless of how they feel about each other." Bree: "Did you hear there was a break in at Mrs. Frome's the other night?" Rex: "Yeah. I heard they didn't take anything." Bree: "Well, that doesn't make it any less frightening. I mean, he could have been a sexual predator." Rex: "And he ended up at Mrs. Frome's? That would have been a lose-lose situation." Bree: "Rex. That's not the point. The point is, I don't feel safe. And I was wondering if you could spend the night." Rex: "You're in the NRA. You own, like, four guns. If someone broke in, I'd expect you to protect me." Bree: "Rex. The truth is, with the kids gone, I'll be all by myself in this house for the first time in seventeen years." Rex: "Honey, I know it's hard to hear, but the marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to being alone." Bree: "You're right. That was hard to hear." Rex: "Oh, come on. I'm, I'm staying at a motel. I haven't had a decent meal in weeks." Bree: "Honey! The marriage counseling might not work out. You need to get used to bad cooking." Officer Thompson: "So you're really turning me down. Boy, my self-esteem can't take this." Susan: "I'm sorry." Officer Thompson: "No, it's just now my ability to help those hostages has been compromised. Still, don't, don't blame yourself for what might happen." Susan: "Blame myself." Officer Thompson: "Yeah, well, it's just hard to rescue folks when you don't feel good about yourself. Ah, they'll probably all die anyway." Susan: "Okay, fine. I'll go out with you." Officer Thompson: "Great. I'll call you." Susan: "Now that you've gotten your date, you can tell me what that really means -- that 907a." Officer Thompson: "Someone's TV was playing too loud." Susan: "Well, thank God for the thin blue line." Officer Thompson: "I'll call you." Twin: "Mom, I'm tired. How long do we have to do this?" Lynette: "Hey, if I can still see your head, the pool's not deep enough." Gabrielle: "Mama, I'll be right back. I'm going to the store." Mama Solis: "Gabrielle. I'm coming with you. I want to make some tamales for Carlos." Gabrielle: "No, no, Juanita, I'm not going to the supermarket. I'm going to the lingerie store." Mama Solis: "Good. I need some bras." Gabrielle: "I'm going to be a while. And I, I might get a facial." Mama Solis: "I have a face." Gabrielle: "You know, Juanita, this is so like you. I invite you on a nice shopping trip, and you find ways to upset me." Mama Solis: "Oh, you didn't invite me. I invited myself. You keep looking at your watch. Is there someplace you have to be?" Gabrielle: "No! You know, and for the record, I am not one of those women who has a hole in her heart that can only be filled by a baby. I like my life a lot. It's very fulfilling." Mama Solis (to a fellow customer): "Excuse my daughter-in-law. She's very fulfilled." Lynette: "So, he just blew you off?" Susan: "I told him another man asked me out. It was the perfect opportunity for Mike to be jealous, and nothing." Lynette: "Did you bat your eyes? You know, it doesn't work if you don't bat your eyes." Susan: "Honey, I batted everything that wasn't nailed down. I'm telling you, nothing." Gabrielle: "Juanita hasn't let me out of her sight since she's gotten here." John: "Really? Well, I don't see her now." Gabrielle: "She's watching her Mexican soap opera. The rebel's virgin daughter's about to be seduced by the escaped desperado. So until she puts out...Juanita won't even know that I'm gone. Come on. I said I was sorry." John: "You know, just so you know, I've turned down half the pep squad for you." Gabrielle: "You can't be serious." John: "No. You know,I'm starting to think that maybe I should be with someone my own age." Gabrielle: "Well, I thought teenage girls bored you, John. I thought what we had was beyond that." John: "So did I." Gabrielle: "So then why do you want to go back to something you don't want?" John: "I don't know." Gabrielle: "Maybe you're tired of me." John: "No. I want to be with you." Gabrielle: "Then why are we arguing?" Mama Solis (calling from outside of the shed): "Gabrielle!" Gabrielle: "Damn it! The virgin gave it up already?" Tom: "Maybe it's time that we look into homeschooling." Lynette: "I know you did not just say that." Tom: "Honey, it's, it's, it's got its advantages. You know, kids in home school do better in their later years." Lynette: "They won't make it to their later years if I have to spend all day with them." Tom: "Honey, sometimes you just -- you got to make the sacrifice. It's probably the best thing for the kids." Lynette: "Why don't we just put them back in me and cook 'em until they're civilized?" Tom: "You'd be cool with that?" Gabrielle: "Oh, for God sakes, Bree, you're a woman. Manipulate him. That's what we do." Bree: "But how?" Gabrielle: "I don't know, how did you usually manipulate Rex?" [later] Bree: "Hello, Zachary. Are you free for dinner tonight?" Zach: "Sure." Bree: "Oh, good, because last night, you put me in such a holiday mood, so I'm going to make roast turkey and candied yams and eggnog. Have you ever had real old-fashioned eggnog?" Zach: "No, I don't think so." Bree: "Oh, you are going to love it. It has quite a kick." Officer Thompson: "What are you doing? Where are you going? It's not safe." Susan: "I'd rather take my chances on the street, thank you very much." Officer Thompson: "Oh, why do I always pick the psychos?" Susan: "Excuse me. I'm a little lost." Prostitute: "Oh, you best be lost. This here's my corner." Susan: "Oh, uh, yes, and -- and a lovely corner it is, and I hate to bother you while you're...working. I just was wondering if you could point me in the direction of a pay phone. Oh, and if you had some change, uh, for this five, preferably quarters..." Prostitute: "Honey, if I got paid in quarters, I'd be doing something very wrong." Susan: "Right. Okay. Thank you." Mike: "You okay?" Susan: "Yeah." Mike: "Then how much for a trip around the world?" Mike: "Look, okay, I know you're mad at me, and I'm sorry I didn't stop you from going out with that guy." Susan: "I'm not mad at you. I mean, I'm not just mad at you. I'm mostly mad at myself." Mike: "Okay." Susan: "I'm mad that I like you so much without really knowing anything about you." Mike: "Oh. What do you want to know?" Susan: "What's your favorite food?" Mike: "Mexican." Susan: "What's your favorite sport?" Mike: "Football." Susan: "Favorite band?" Mike: "Elvis Costello." Susan: "That's a guy, not a band." Mike: "It's a guy with a band." Susan: "What do you think of me?" [Mike kisses her] Susan: "I'm sorry.Could you repeat that?"