Episode 01.04 - "Who's That Woman?" Mary Alice: "It suddenly occurred to Lynette her label was about to change yet again. And for the next few years, she would be known as the mother of the boys who painted Tiffany Axelrod blue." Dr. Goldfine: "So, how have you been?" Mary Alice: "I had the nightmare again." Dr. Goldfine: "Still the same one." Mary Alice: "Yes. But this time, I was standing in a river, and I saw the girl under the water. She kept screaming Angela over and over again. Dr. Goldfine: "So what do you think the significance of the name Angela is?" Mary Alice: "Actually, that's my real name." Susan: "I think we should show Paul the note." Lynette: "Are you sure? He's gonna freak." Bree: "Well, it's now or never. I mean, I saw what he's asking for the place. It's gonna sell quickly." Gabrielle: "Can I say something? I'm glad Paul's moving." Bree: "Gabby!" Gabrielle: "I'm sorry. He's just always giving me the creeps. Haven't you guys noticed? He's got this dark thing going on. There's something about him that just feels..." Lynette: "Malignant?" Gabrielle: "Yes." Susan: "We've all sort of felt it." Bree: "That being said, I do love what he's done with that lawn." Julie: "I still don't understand why you don't just ask him out on an official date date!" Susan: "Oh, I'm trying a new strategy. I'm playing hard to get." Julie: "How long do you think you can keep that up?" Susan: "Oh, maybe until noon. Then I'm gonna have to run over there and beg him to love me." Susan: "You've got to be kidding. She washed her car yesterday!" Susan: "What am I supposed to say to Mike? I saw you half naked and thought I'd drop by?" Edie: "I hate Susan Mayer. Every time I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God, I just want to go out and shoot a deer." Mrs. Huber: "What has she done this time?" Edie: "She is out there throwing herself at Mike Delfino. Again." Mrs. Huber: "Susan likes Mike?" Edie: "Where the hell have you been, Martha? She's been lusting after him ever since he moved in." Lynette: "I got your message. What's going on?" Ms. Butters: "The boys refuse to be separated." Lynette: "They refuse? They're six years old. Make them." Ms. Butters: "Well, school regulations are pretty strict about me wrestling with the boys. But if you want to give it a shot, be my guest." Lynette: "Fine." Gabrielle: "I love taking baths. Especially with you. It's like taking a vacation from the world." John: "I hated taking baths when I was a kid. Course back then, the only thing I had to play with was my rubber ducky." Mrs. Huber: "I can't wait for you to try this. It's mincemeat." Susan: "Actually, I just had dinner." Mrs. Huber: "That's okay. You can save it for later." (she laughs) Susan: "What's so funny?" Mrs. Huber: "I was just thinking of that expression: I'll make mincemeat out of you. Mincemeat. It used to be an entree made up of mostly chopped meat, so it was like saying 'I'll chop you up into little bits.' But that was centuries ago. Today, mincemeat is mostly made up of fruit, spices, and rum. There's no meat in it. And still people say I'll make mincemeat out of you." Susan: "I don't know that people really say that anymore." Mrs. Huber: "I do." Mrs. Huber: "I hope it works out with you and Mike. You've been so desperate to land him." Susan: "I am not desperate." Mrs. Huber: "Oh, good Lord, Susan. You burned your rival's house down. If that isn't desperate, I don't know what is." Bree: "If the school and the pediatrician both think the twins could stand to be medicated, then what's the problem?" Lynette: "I used to run a company with eighty-five people and now I can't wrangle three some boys without doping them? Talk about feeling like a failure." Bree: "Lynette, you are a great mother, but let's face it. Your kids are...a challenge." Lynette: "Thank you. That's the nicest way you could have said that. You know, the truth is, when they're not making me want to tear my hair out, they're actually really sweet. I'm afraid if I change the bad stuff, I'm gonna change the good stuff." Bree: "It's a tough call." Lynette: "Like this mug. I love this mug. If I medicate them, are they still gonna make me a mug like this?" Bree: "You know, it's leaking." Lynette: "Yeah. I know." Carlos: "Have you always cleaned with socks?" Yoa: "Yes." Carlos: "What, is that a Japanese thing?" Yoa: "I am Chinese." [Carlos leaves] Yoa: "I don't like lying." Gabrielle: "Yeah? Well, I don't like your ironing. So there." Gabrielle: "Why are your friends staring at me? Did you tell them about us?" John: "No! They're staring because they think you're hot." Gabrielle: "Oh! Okay!" Andrew: "What are you doing?" Bree: "I'm staying for the show. I'm dying to see what all the fuss is about. Excuse me, waitress? I'll have a glass of your house chardonnay. I'm curious, Andrew. As you fantasize about this woman, do you ever stop and think how she came to be on this runway? That's someone's little girl. And that someone probably had a lot of dreams for her. Dreams that did not include a thong and a pole." Andrew: "It's not gonna work. Okay? I'm not pledging." Bree: "God only knows what she's had to deal with in her life. Abject poverty, drugs, domestic violence, maybe even molestation!" Andrew: "Mom!" Bree: "And now, she treats herself like other men treat her. Like an object. A piece of meat." Susan: "Okay, let's run through it one more time." Julie: "Mom, it's not brain surgery. You'll stand guard while I crawl through Mrs. Huber's doggy door. Once inside, I'll find the measuring cup. Simple." Susan: "Oh, god. I hate that I'm turning you into a little thief." Julie: "It's our measuring cup. We're just taking back what's ours." Susan: "Hey, that's right. Ethically, we have nothing to be ashamed about. Oh, wear these. [she picks up rubber gloves] I don't want you to leave fingerprints." Gabrielle: "Wow." Lynette: "Yeah." Gabrielle: "I think he's lying." Lynette: "So do I." Mary Alice: "In that moment, Lynette made a decision. When it came to dealing with her children, medication was no longer an option." Bree: "So what's your strategy? You're just never gonna speak to me again?" Andrew: "Something like that." Bree: "I suppose I do owe you an apology." Andrew: "Careful. I wouldn't want you to strain yourself." Bree: "I shouldn't have lied to you about your father. You and sister are old enough to handle the truth and I'm sorry." Andrew: "Keep going. I'm mad at you for about seven thousand other things." Bree: "If you think I'm going to apologize for taking you out of a strip club, you're wrong. I consider it one of my finest moments." Andrew: "Mom?" Bree: "Yeah." Andrew: "When can I have my door back." Bree: "Three months." Susan: "I will keep my lawn looking nice. And I will make sure that my music isn't played too loud, and if I get some of your mail, heck, I'll run it right over. Cause that's what good neighbors do. But from now on, when I run into you in the street and I say good morning, Mrs. Huber, or how are you, Mrs. Huber, just know, that inside, I am quietly, but decidedly hating your guts." Mrs. Huber: "Careful, dear. Let's not say things we'll live to regret."