This was typed by me, a human, and mistakes are possible. If you find any, no matter how trivial, please let me know. (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)

Screen caps taken with permission from Wisteria Lane.

Guest stars

"Mrs. Martha Huber" - Christine Estabrook
"Dr. Albert Goldfine" - Sam Lloyd
"Beefy Middle-Aged Woman" - Jan Hoag
"Preston Scavo" - Brent Kinsman
"Porter Scavo" - Shane Kinsman
"Parker Scavo" - Zane Huett
"Cop" - Timothy Brennen
"Veterinarian" - Adam Lieberman

Written by: Marc Cherry
Directed by: Larry Shaw

Voice over, spoken by Mary Alice Young.

"An odd thing happens when we die. Our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell, and sound become a distant memory. But our sight. Ah. Our sight expands. And we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course, most of what's visible to the dead can also be seen by the living. If they only take the time to look."

Pan over a cemetery, focusing in on Mary Alice Young's grave, which reads:

Mary Alice Young
11*18*65 - 9*26*04
Beloved Wife and Mother

Gabrielle is lying in water, with her eyes closed.

"Like my friend, Gabrielle. I should have seen how unhappy she was. But I didn't."

Flash to scenes of Gabrielle with Carlos giving her gifts as Mary Alice speaks.

"I only saw her clothes from Paris. And her platinum jewelry. And her brand-new diamond watch. Had I looked closer, I would have seen that Gabrielle was a drowning woman. Desperately in search of a life vest. Luckily for her,"

Gabrielle comes out of the water and we see she's sitting in a bathtub. Sharing it, in fact, with John, the gardener, who she leans forward to kiss.

"She found one. Of course, Gabrielle only saw her young gardener as a way to infuse her life with a little excitement. But now, she was about to discover just how exciting her life could be."

Carlos's car pulls into the driveway. John and Gabrielle kiss as they towel off. Carlos slams the car door. Gabrielle hears it and runs to the window to look. As Carlos gets out of the car and gets the mail from the mailbox, she grabs John and they rush downstairs, grabbing clothing off of the floor as they do so.

Carlos sees the gardening tools on the lawn and looks around as he walks up to the house. Gabrielle tells John to climb out the window and as he does so, she pushes him. He falls, leaving behind the towel he had wrapped around him.

Gabrielle grabs the towel he had left behind and quickly puts her hair up with it. Carlos walks inside.

Gabrielle: "Hi, honey, you're home early."
Carlos: "My meeting got cancelled." He glances over at her. "You just took a shower this morning."

Gabrielle notices John's jeans still lying on the couch. She saunters casually over to them and puts a pillow on top of them as she tells Carlos that she just finished a workout.

Carlos: "Where's John?"
Gabrielle: "John?"
Carlos: "Yeah, that's his truck out front."

"Gabrielle was panicked. She knew if her husband discovered her secret, she would feel the full force of his wrath."

Suddenly, from outside, John says, "Hey, Mr. Solis!"

Gabrielle and Carlos turn to the window and see John from the waist up, clothed, trimming the hedge. Carlos tells him to work on the ficus and John tells him that he will. Before turning away to continue trimming the hedge, he looks at Gabrielle with a slight smile.

"But she was quickly reminded that what Carlos couldn't see, couldn't hurt her."

From the outside, we see John standing on a ladder, trimming the hedges...naked from the waist down.

Credits

The four women are at Susan's house.

"The peaceful facade of Wisteria Lane had recently been shattered. First by my suicide. And then by the discovery of a note among my belongings that suspected a suspicious reason for my desperate act. My friends gathered to discuss its implications."

Susan picks up the note from the kitchen table. "I think we should give it to Paul."
Gabrielle takes it from her. "He's still mourning, Susan. He'll probably freak out."
Susan: "It doesn't matter. She was his wife. He deserves to have all the facts."
Bree: "Well, we could do it gently. We could tell him about it over coffee and pastry."
Lynette: "That'll be fun. 'Paul, we have proof your wife killed herself over some deep, dark, secret. Another bear claw?'"
Gabrielle: "We could always call the police."
Lynette: "Maybe it's just some sort of sick joke."
Bree: "Well, if it was a joke, it was in very poor taste."
Susan: "No, this was serious. I know it was. We gotta find out what was going on."
Lynette: "Let's say we do. There's a chance we're not gonna like what we find."
Susan: Well, isn't it worse to be in the dark? Imagining she did all of these horrible things?
Bree: "It's the age-old question, isn't it? How much do we really want to know about our neighbors?"

At the Young's house, there's a giant hole in the middle of the pool.

"My friends were right to be concerned. They knew that every family h as its secrets. And as my son and husband could have told them, you need to think carefully before digging them. up."

Zack stands by the edge of the hole, looking into it, and then turns to look at the darkened house. Inside the house, the husband carries a large chest into a dimly lit room, where he sets it down on a table and rubs his hands on top of it.

The women come out of Susan's house.

"After talking for hours, my friends still hadn't agreed on what to do with the note. So, they decided to talk about it in the morning after a g good night's rest."

The women part ways.

"But no one could fall asleep that night."

Each woman is shown lying in bed, wide awake.

"They each kept thinking of my suicide. And how terribly alone I must have felt. You see, loneliness was something my friends understood all too well."

Bree gets out of bed and goes downstairs to where Rex is sleeping on the couch. When she reaches him, she coughs politely and he rolls over, telling her that he's up. She smiles and sits down on the edge of the pull out bed. "Good. I have a question for you." He rolls his eyes, then pulls off the covers to sit next to her. "Okay."

Bree: "Do you remember when you proposed?"
Rex: "For God's sake."
Bree: "We sat on Skyline Drive and drank a bottle of apple wine and when we finished it, you turned to me and you said, 'If you marry me, Bree Mason, I promise to love you for the rest of my life.' And even though I was engaged to Ty Grant, and even though my father didn't like you, I said yes."
Rex: "That was a long time ago."
Bree: "You are going to cancel the meeting with that divorce lawyer and we are going to find ourselves a marriage counselor."
Rex: "Bree!"
Bree: "You promised."

They look at each other.

He nods. "All right."
"Good. I'm gonna go, uh, make myself some warm milk." She gets up and walks to the kitchen, stopping halfway to turn around and look at him. "Would you like something to drink?" As he gets up from the bed, he mutters, "Anything but apple wine."

At Susan's house, she takes a glass and fills it with tap water. As she drinks, she looks out her front window.

"Susan awoke that night alone and parched. And as she gazed out her window, she saw the tall drink of water she needed to quench her thirst."

Outside, Mike Delfino is walking slowly down the sidewalk with his dog.

Susan sighs.

Julie: "Dear Diary. Mike doesn't even know I'm alive."
Susan: "Shut up."
Julie: "If you want to date him, you're gonna have to ask him out.'
Susan: "I keep hoping he'll ask me out."
Julie: "How's that going?"
Susan: "Shouldn't you be making brownies for your nerdy friends?"
Julie: "I can't find the measuring cup. Have you seen it?"
Susan: "The measuring cup?" [she flashes back to when she dropped it on Edie's floor.]
Julie: "Yeah."
Susan: "Hmm." [flash back to Susan trying to put out Edie's fire with the jeans, and then running out of the house, past the measuring cup on the floor, then flashback to the fire engulfing Edie's house.] I, uh, well, it's gotta be here somewhere. Just keep looking."

Carlos walks into the bedroom, where Gabrielle is lying on the bed with her eyes closed. He walks into the closet and begins taking off his tie.

Carlos: "I know you're awake."
Gabrielle: "I know you're a jerk."
Carlos: "Dinner with Tanaka ran long. I'm sorry.
Gabrielle: "You know, Carlos, I didn't marry you so I could have dinner by myself 6 times a week. You know how bored I was today. I came this close to actually cleaning the house.
Carlos: "Don't be that way. I got you a gift."
Gabrielle: "Nope. No, no, no, no. You're not gonna buy your way out of this one.
Carlos: "It's a good gift." He tosses a red jewelry box in front of her.
She opens it. "Is that white gold?"
Carlos: "Yeah. Put it on." He kisses her shoulder. "And then make love to me."
Gabrielle: "I'm not in the mood. But, we could stay up and talk."

He laughs. "When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry, there are many things he may want in return. For future reference, conversation ain't one of them."

She throws the jewelry box at him, hitting him on the back. He turns around. "Hey, that was a joke."
She gets out of bed. "Yeah, right."

She starts to stalk past him, and he grabs her.

Carlos: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Gabrielle: "Let go of me."
Carlos: "You've been acting like a nightmare for a month."
Gabrielle: "Stop!"
Carlos: "What's wrong?"
She keeps struggling and he holds on to her. "I can't fix it unless you tell me."
She breaks his hold and sits down. "It's not exciting anymore, Carlos."
Carlos: "So what am I supposed to do?"
Gabrielle: "I dunno. Be the way you used to be. Surprise me. take my breath away."
Carlos: "Okay."
She looks at him with her eyebrows raised and he reiterates: "Okay!"

The next morning, Susan, in a robe and slippers takes the garbage out to the curb, yawning. As she's bent over, pushing the garbage bag into the can, Mike, who's walking his dog nearby, looks over at her. "Hey, Susan." Susan hears him and freezes, still bent over.

Susan: "Mike!"
Mike: "What's wrong?"
Susan: "I didn't realize anybody was going to be out here. I just sort of rolled out of bed."
Mike: "I'm sure you look fine."

She moans quietly and quickly touches her face and hair before straightening up to look at him.

Bongo starts barking at her and Mike starts trying to calm him down. Julie, inside, hears the commotion and looks outside the window as she eats cereal.

Mike: "Sorry. He scares easy."
Susan: "No, it, it, it's fine. I get it."
Mike: "I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll see you later."

He starts to turn.

She steels herself and as he leaves, she bursts out, "Did you want to have dinner with me?"
He turns around. "Just the two of us?
Susan: "Well, and Julie. Uh, it's a thing we do when somebody new moves into the neighborhood, we invite them over for a home-cooked meal. It's sort of a tradition."
Mike: "I thought you said you were a lousy cook."
Susan: "Well, I order take-out."
Mike: "Oh. YOu invite them over for home-cooking and you give 'em takeout."
Susan: "Yeah, it's, it's, uh, it's sort of a new tradition. I'm working out the kinks."
He laughs. "I'll tell you what. How 'bout I cook. And you guys come over to my place?"
Susan: "Oh! Great."
Mike: "Friday night at six?"
Susan: "I'll be there."

He starts to go and Susan smiles, happy. She leans down to look at Bongo. "Bye, Bongo." He barks, scaring her. Julie watches, interested.

Susan runs into the house and calls for Julie. "Mike Delfino just invited us to dinner Friday night."
Julie: "He did? Cool!"
Susan: "But only I'm going. Because you're going to come down with something semi-serious that requires bed rest. And fluids."

She runs upstairs.

"Julie was glad Susan was rekindling her love life. Of course, she was unaware of her mother's recent track record with fire."

In Edie's burnt house, Edie and Mrs. Huber are going through the rubble.

Edie: "It's all gone. Everything my ex-husband worked for all those years. Gone."
Mrs. Huber:"Don't worry about clothing. I already started a collection from people from the neighborhood."
Edie: "What? I don't want to wear other people's old crap."
Mrs. Huber: "Edie, you can be homeless or you can be ungracious. You really can't afford to be both." She sighs. "That reminds me. My insurance check still hasn't come yet. Can I stay with you for a few more weeks?"
Edie: "Of course! What kind of Christian would I be if I denied shelter to a friend in need?" She spies the burnt measuring cup Susan had dropped on the floor. "Oh, look! Here's something we can salvage. your measuring cup. We can just scrape off the burnt part and it'll look good as new."
Edie: "that's not my cup. Mine was plastic."
Mrs: Huber: "Well, how did it get in here?"
Edie: "I dunno. Who cares?" She gets up and walks away. Mrs. Huber looks at the cup, interested.
Mrs. Huber: "Now, would you put that down and start looking for jewelry?"

Mrs. Huber stands up, but slowly rubs the measuring cup, as she thinks.

"Dr. Albert Goldfine was the most accomplished marriage counselor in the city. He had dealt with problems ranging from substance abuse, to infidelity, to domestic violence. Yes, Dr. Goldfine thought he had seen it all. And then, he met the Van De Kamps."

A knock on Dr. Goldfine's office door causes him to get up and answer it. Bree and Rex are standing there. Bree smiles and introduces herself and Rex to Dr. Goldfine.

Bree: "And I brought you some homemade potpourri." She hands it to him and walks inside.
Rex is left behind with the doctor. "The answer is yes. You're about to make a fortune off us."

Lynette is driving down the street as her children jump up and down and scream and ignore her as she yells at them to buckle up.

A motorcycle cop sees them and follows them, putting on his siren to pull her over. Lynette sees him and mutters, "Oh, crap."

Once pulled over, the cop walks up to her and looks inside the car, asking for license and registration.

When Lynette hands them over, he asks her, "Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over?"
Lynette: "I have a theory."
Cop: "Kids are jumping up and down. They should be sitting, wearing their seat belts."
Lynette: "I yelled at them. They never listen to me. It's very frustrating."
Cop: "Well, you have to find a way to control them. After all, that's your job."

He walks over to his motorcycle, leaving Lynette and the kids.

"Though he'd been a policeman for six years, Office Hayes had never found himself in a truly dangerous situation. Then again, he had never before told a woman how to raise her children."

Lynette gets out of the car, slamming the door. Officer Hayes looks up.

Lynette: "Are you saying I'm a bad mother?"
Cop: "Ma'am you need to get back in your car, please."

Lynette starts walking towards him slowly.

Lynette: "I have no help. My husband is always away on business."
Cop: "I'm gonna have to ask you to step back now." He reaches for the gun on his belt. Lynette ignores him. "My baby-sitter joined the witness relocation program. I haven't slept through the night in six years. And for you to stand there and judge me."

She reaches him, breathing hard. He looks at her kids, who are making faces at him through the back window of the mini van.

Cop: "Okay. I'm not gonna give you a ticket. I'm gonna let you off with a warning."
Lynette: "I accept your apology."

She takes her license and registration from him and walks off. When she gets in the car, her kids start yelling again. She starts the car and the officer calls after her, "Buckle up!"

A woman gets into a car and drives off. Gabrielle, wearing a short black dress, leopard-skin shoes and scarf and sunglasses, steps out of her car and walks up to the house where the car left from. She rings the doorbell and John answers.

John: "Mrs. Solis!"
Gabrielle: "Hello, Jonathan."

Inside, he shows her his room, apologizing for the mess.

John: "You just missed my mom. On Friday's, she coaches my little sister's soccer team."
Gabrielle: "Ah, yes. I heard that." She picks up a plate from the bed that has a partially eaten sandwich on it and places it on his TV. "Uh, John, we need to talk about what happened the other day."
John: "Mr. Solis isn't starting to catch on, is he?"
Gabrielle: "No, no. He doesn't have a clue, God love him. It's just, I was thinking that when you come over to garden, you might actually have to garden."
John: "Great. You're breaking up with me. In my own bedroom."
Gabrielle: "No, no. I'm not dumping you. Lately, you've been the only thing keeping me going. It's just we can't do it at my house anymore."
John: "Oh. So, then, where do you want to do it?"
Gabrielle: "Well, uh, what time does your mom get back from soccer practice?"
John: "Mrs. Solis."
She clears off a space next to her on the bed. "Better hurry. We don't have a lot of time."

He takes off his shirt and joins her on the bed, kissing her. When he starts to kiss her neck, she looks over to his nightstand, where she sees a photo of him as a young boy, posing for a Little League picture. She frowns and puts the picture face down on the nightstand.

At the marriage counselor's office, Bree is talking about her children. "And so, there's just the four of us. My oldest son, Andrew, is 16. Danielle is 15, and..." she looks down to rummage through her purse.

Dr. Goldfine interrupts her, "I don't need to see pictures. Bree, you've spent most of the hour engaging in small talk."
Bree: "Oh, have I?
Dr. Goldfine: "Yes. Rex has been very vocal about his issues. Don't you want to discuss your feelings about your marriage?"
She sighs. "Um. Doc-"
Rex interrupts. "This is the thing you gotta know about Bree. She doesn't like to talk about her feelings. To be honest, it's hard to know if she has any."

Bree looks at him, shocked.

He continues. "Does she feel anger, rage, ecstasy? Who knows? She's always pleasant. And I can't tell you how annoying that is." As he talks, Bree looks at Dr. Goldfine, who absent-mindedly plays with a loose button in his jacket. Bree focuses on the button, tuning out Rex. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a miniature sewing kit.

Dr. Goldfine gets her attention again. She focuses in on him. "I'm sorry."
Dr. Goldfine: "Would you like to respond to what Rex just said?"
Bree: "Oh, um..."
Dr. Goldfine: "Is there some truth there? Do you use housework as a way to disengage emotionally?"
Bree: "Of course not!" She puts the kit back in her purse.

In John's bedroom, John is lying on his back on his bed, wearing only his boxers. Gabrielle is finishing up getting dressed.

John: "Ah. This is great. I got tons of homework tonight. It's so easy to concentrate after sex."
Gabrielle: "Well, I'm glad I could help. Education is very important."
John: "Oh, I've got something for you."

He gets up and goes over to a shelf, where he has a single rose in a glass. He brings it over to her.

John: "I was gonna give it to you next time I mowed your lawn, but since you're here."
Gabrielle: "Oh, it's a rose!"
John: "It's not just any rose. Look at the petals. There aren't any flaws. It's perfect."
Gabrielle: "Oh, John."
John: "Just like you."

"The truth hit her like a thunderbolt."

John: "I spent days looking for just the right one. Finally found it."

"For John, this was no longer just a meaningless little affair. Gabrielle could now clearly see he was falling in love with her."

Gabrielle: "It's just beautiful."

They smile and she tells him that she has to go. As she leaves, he calls out a goodbye to her.

Mike gets out of his truck, carrying grocery bags. Susan comes running across his lawn.

Susan: "What are we having?"
Mike: "Uh, well, I talked to Julie, and she suggested rib eye steaks." Susan takes one of the bags from him and he thanks her. "Said that's your favorite."
Susan: "Oh, yeah. I love my steak."

They start up his porch and Edie, in her convertible, pulls up, honking at them. "Hi, Mike! Susan."

Mike goes back down the steps to Edie. Susan stays for a minute longer on the porch. "Edie."

Mike: "Hey, I'm sorry about your house. How you holding up?"
Edie: "All right, I guess. Oh! Is somebody having a party?" She gets out of her car.
Mike: "No, Susan is just throwing me one of her traditional welcome to the neighborhood dinners. Only I'm cooking. And having it at my house."
Edie: "Traditional. I didn't get one."
Mike: "Oh, it's sort of a new tradition."
Edie: "Well, it won't be anything fancy. Just a little home cooking."
Mike: "Mm, that sounds so good." She leans over to look inside the bags that Mike is holding.

Susan smiles, but stays behind.

"Susan suddenly had an awful feeling in the pit of stomach."

Edie: "I've been having nothing but fast food lately."

"As if she was watching an accident in slow motion. She knew it would happen, but was powerless to stop it."

Mike turns around and gives Susan a look.

Susan: "Edie, would you like to join us for dinner?"
Edie: "Oh, that's so sweet. No. I don't want to intrude. Three's a crowd."
Mike: "No, it's not like that. I mean, Susan's bringing Julie."
Susan: "It's not like that. The more the merrier."
Edie: "Well, this'll be fun."
Mike: "Tomorrow night. We'll eat at six." He turns and heads back up to the house.
Edie: "Great. Oh, and Susan?"
Susan: "Yeah?"
Edie: "This will make up for the dinner you never threw for me."
Susan: "Right."

Edie waves and drives off. Mike comes back to where Susan is. "Should I have told her we were having steak? She's not like, a vegetarian or something, is she?"

Susan mutters, "Oh, no, no. Edie's definitely a carnivore."

On Lynette's porch, Mrs. Huber watches Edie drive away. Lynette comes out of her house with a box of clothing in her arms. "Here's what I pulled for Edie. I should warn you that most of the clothes in there aren't that stylish."

"Oh, don't worry about it." She starts going through the box. "Edie's a beggar now, which means she can't be a chooser. Of course, we don't have to add salt to the wound." She pulls out one article of clothing and hands it back to Lynette.

Lynette: "Listen, I was just getting dinner ready."
Mrs. Huber: "Say no more. I'll get out of your hair." She turns to leave.
Lynette: "No, no." Lynette turns to go back inside the house.
Mrs. Huber: "By the way, was that you I saw getting pulled over by a policeman?"
Lynette: "Yeah, the boys were acting up in the car. I couldn't get them to sit down."
Mrs. Huber: "Young boys can be so willful."
Lynette: "I try everything. I scream. I threaten. I reason. I beg. Nothing works. I don't know if it's because they're too young and they don't understand or they're just getting some perverse joy out of testing me."
Mrs. Huber: "My mother used to have the worst time with me in the car. So one time when I was acting up, she stopped and left me on the side of the road and she drove off."
Lynette: "You're kidding."
Mrs. Huber: "Oh, she came back immediately. But I never misbehaved in the car again. You should try that."
Lynette: "Mrs. Huber, I could never leave my kids by the side of the road."
Mrs. Huber: "When it comes to discipline, sometimes you must be creative. My mother knew that. Smart lady. Of course, she's in a home now. And her mind has just turned to mush."
Lynette: "Well, like I said, I should go back and get dinner ready."
Mrs. Huber: "Oh, right! Well, good bye."
Lynette: "Good bye."

As Mrs. Huber leaves, she sees Susan walking back to her house and calls to her.

Mrs. Huber: "Susan! Have you been able to find old clothes for Edie? She has nothing to wear."
Susan: "I thought that was the look she was going for."
Mrs. Huber: "Oh, Susan. Edie may be trash, but she's still a human being."

Mrs. Huber walks off. Susan sees Zack watering the lawn. She takes the letter Mary Alice received out of her pocket and looks at it, then walks up to Zack, asking if his dad is home. "I need to talk to him."

In the garage, Paul has wrapped the chest in plastic and is duct taping it shut. The garage door opens and Susan walks in.

Susan: "Hey, Paul. I hope I'm not interrupting."
Paul: "Actually, I was getting ready to go somewhere."
Susan: "I just wanted to come by and say hello. You know, see how you guys are doing."
Paul: "We're trying to move on. It's been pretty tough."
Susan: "I can imagine. Not knowing why Mary Alice - "
Paul: "Why what?" He picks up the chest and begins walking away with it.
Susan: "Why she did it. Oh!" Paul drops the chest and Susan bends down to help him. "Here, let me help you."
Paul: "I got it, I got it."

He puts it in the back of his car.

Susan: "Sorry if I upset you."
Paul: "Can I be frank?"
Susan: "Of course."
Paul: "I don't care what her reasons were. Maybe she was depressed. Maybe she was bored. It doesn't matter. She abandoned her husband and her son. And I'll never forgive her."

He gets in the car and drives off, leaving Susan.

A little while later, it's nighttime.

"As I watched Susan, I couldn't help feeling sorry for her. She wanted so much to know why I did it."

Susan puts the letter in a box in her house.

"Why I killed myself."

Paul has reached his destination. He opens up the trunk and takes the chest out.

"It's not enough to want the truth. You must know where to look for it. And the truth is elusive because it knows where to hide."

Paul carries the chest over to a railing on a bridge and throws it over, where it lands in a body of water, slowly sinking out of sight.

Julie is at home. Mrs. Huber knocks on the door.

Mrs. Huber: "Hello, Julie. I talked to your mom about donating some clothes for Edie."
Julie: "She's at Mrs. Van De Kamp's, but I'll see if she left some stuff upstairs."

She goes upstairs, leaving the door open. Mrs. Huber walks in and starts rifling through the grocery bags on the kitchen table. She takes out some perfume and sprays it on herself. Then she sees a new measuring cup, identical in make to the burnt one she had found at Edie's. Holding it, she stares off into space, thinking.

Julie comes back downstairs, sees Mrs. Huber holding the measuring cup, and looks suspicious.

Mrs. Huber: "Oh, Julie! I was just admiring your new measuring cup."
Julie takes it from Mrs. Huber. "Yeah, we lost ours."
Mrs. Huber: "Really."
Julie: "So I couldn't find the clothes. I'm sorry.
Mrs. Huber: "That's okay.
Julie: "If you want me to keep looking."
Mrs. Huber: "No. You've done more than enough. Truly." She leaves.

Julie stands there, looking confused.

Bree is in Dr. Goldfine's waiting room. Dr. Goldfine comes out of his office.

Dr. Goldfine: "Bree. Rex just called. He won't be able to meet you here today. Apparently, there was an emergency at the hospital."
Bree: "Oh. Well, I wish he had called me." She gets up, ready to leave.
Dr. Goldfine: "He suggested perhaps you'd like to meet with me by yourself. You've been very quiet in our joint sessions."

Bree focuses in on the button still hanging loosely from Dr. Goldfine's jacket.

Bree: "What? Oh, oh, oh no thank you. I have some things that I need to do today."
Dr. Goldfine: "Are you sure?"
Bree: "Uh, yeah. I'm sure."
Dr. Goldfine: "Okay."

He goes in his office. Bree starts to leave, but is hesitant, as though she's trying to make a decision about something. Finally, she strides purposefully back to Dr. Goldfine's door and knocks on it. When she enters, she says, "Dr. Goldfine, there is something you can do for me."

Dr. Goldfine: "What's that?"
Bree: "Take off your coat." She closes the door behind her.

Susan and Gabrielle walk into Gabrielle's house, laden down with shopping bags.

Gabrielle: "So now you're taking Julie on your dinner date with Mike?"
Susan: "Yeah, well, if Edie's gonna be there, I'm gonna need emotional support."
Gabrielle: "I can't believe she wormed her way into in. How did you let her do that?"
Susan: "I don't know. I was gonna take her out at the knees, but it all happened so fast."
Gabrielle: "Well, you know what you need to do. You need to get there early, spend a little bit of time with Mike before the little barracuda gets there."
Susan: "That's a good idea. Edie will get there at 5:45 which means her breasts will arrive at 5:30, so I should shoot for five."
Gabrielle: "Atta girl. I'm just gonna take these upstairs." She starts collecting her packages.

Susan clutches her shopping bag. "I'm gonna keep my one little bag and go home."

As she heads toward the door, she sees the rose that John gave Gabrielle on the front hall table.

Susan: "That is a beautiful rose. Where did you get it?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, John gave it to me." Gabrielle freezes after saying that.
Susan: "John? Your gardener? He gave you a rose?"
Gabrielle: "Yes. I am having some new bushes planted outside and he gave me that as a color palette."
Susan: "Oh! Okay."

She shrugs and turns to leave. "Sure is beautiful, isn't it?" She leaves.

Gabrielle stares at the rose. "Yes, it is."

In Dr. Goldfine's office, he watches Bree sew the button back onto his jacket.

Dr. Goldfine: "I'm sure Freud would not approve of this."
Bree: "Oh, who cares what he thinks. I took psychology in college. We learned all about Freud. A miserable human being."
Dr. Goldfine: "What makes you say that?"
Bree: "Well, think about it. He grew up in the late 1800s. There were no appliances back then. His mother had to do everything by hand, just backbreaking work from sunup to sundown, not to mention the countless other sacrifices she probably had to make to take care of her family. And what does he do? He grows up and becomes famous, peddling a theory that the problems of most adults can be traced back to something awful their mother has done. She must have felt so betrayed. He saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he even ever think to say thank you? I doubt it."

She finishes up the coat and puts it on him. "There you go."

Dr. Goldfine: "Just so you know, many of Freud's theories have been discredited."
Bree: "Good."

In the car, Lynette's children are misbehaving again. She pleads with them to tell them to sit down and how they'll be in trouble if they don't sit down in the seats. The boys become quiet, but only to whisper in each other's ears. After the whispering they all turn to look at her, grinning.

"For the first time, Lynette could see that this was not the innocent play of children. She was being challenged. So, she decided it was time to get creative."

She pulls over and opens the car door. "Out. Can't behave, you heard me. You cannot ride. You. Out. Move it."

She closes the door and gets back in, looking back at her kids once before driving off. The kids watch her. "Where is she going?"

She pulls around a corner and stops the car. She looks at her watch and then looks at her baby in the car seat next to her. "Mommy's a genius." After a few minutes, she backtracks and goes to pick up the boys.

They're gone.

Shocked, she stops the car and tells her baby that "mommy will be right back." She rushes out to where she left them, calling for them.

A woman comes out of the house where Lynette is running on the lawn. "Porter! Preston! Parker! If you're hiding, you've gotta stop now, because mommy doesn't think it's funny."

Lynette: "Oh! Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm looking for my boys. Three boys with red hair. Have you seen them?"
Lady: "Yeah. I also saw you drive away and leave them."
Lynette: "I know. I was just trying to scare them into behaving. Did you see where they went?"
Lady: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're in my kitchen."
Lynette: "Oh!"
Lady: "Listen, it seems to me like you have some anger management issues."
Lynette: "I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues."

She goes to walk past the woman, but the woman stops her.

Lady: "Yeah, well, I think you need to talk to somebody because abandoning your children is--"
Lynette: "I didn't abandon them. I came back!"
Lady: "I'm just saying...it's not normal."
Lynette: "Yeah, well, my kids aren't normal. And now I don't have time for this lady. So--" she starts to go past the woman again, who stops her again. "Boys! Get out here."
Lady: "No, I don't think they should go anywhere until you calm down."

The boys show up at the door, holding cookies. Lynette sees them and tells them to get in the car. One of the twins tells her that they have cookies.

Lynette: "Well, bring them. We're leaving."
Lady: "No, no, no, stay put."
Lynette: "I don't think so." As she tries to go past the woman, the woman grabs her arm.
Lady: "Listen, lady, you and I are gonna have a little talk."
Twin: "Leave my mommy alone!"
Lynette: "Let go of me! What's the matter with you?"

The twins bite her and push her over.

Lynette: "Run, boys, run!"

They all get into the car.

The lady gets up. "You get back here!"

Lynette: "Boys, you're gonna need to put on your---" the boys have already put on their seat belts.

Lynette looks surprised, but proud.

As the car drives off, the lady calls out, "Get back or I'm gonna call social services!"

Gabrielle is sitting on the staircase, staring happily at the rose on the table. A horn honks. She looks out the window and her jaw drops.

She goes outside. "Oh my God." Carlos is standing next to a convertible with a big red ribbon on it.

Gabrielle: "Carlos, what have you done?"
Carlos: "I saw it when I drove by the dealership. I thought, Gabrielle would look so beautiful in this."
Gabrielle: "Carlos!" She shoves him playfully.
Carlos: "It cost me an arm and a leg. It's got GPS navigation, 200 watt stereo system, rear parking sensor..."
Gabrielle: "It's beautiful!"
Carlos: "So? Did I take your breath away?"
Gabrielle: "Absolutely!"
Carlos: "Is it the best gift you've ever gotten?"

"Gabrielle could see what this gesture had cost Carlos so she responded the only way she knew how."

She kisses him and jumps up on him, wrapping her legs around him as they kiss.

Across the street, John is raking a neighbor's lawn. He sees the car, Carlos, and Gabrielle, and watches them, looking sad and hurt.

"She had a feeling the truth would have been lost on her husband anyway. After all, it's the rare man who understands the value of a single, perfect rose."

Susan walks up the pathway to Mike's house. When she gets on the porch, Bongo, who was sleeping there, starts barking. She pushes the doorbell. Mike opens it.

Mike: "Susan!"
Susan: "I hope you don't mind. I thought I'd come by early and help you set up."
Mike: "Oh. Um."
Edie comes out of the kitchen. "Hey, Susan. Don't worry. Mike and I have everything under control."
Susan: "Oh."

Bongo barks.

Mike: "Bongo! I don't know why he barks at you."
Edie: "I wouldn't take it personally. Dogs are very sensitive."

She walks over to Bongo and starts petting him and talking to him.

"In the distance, Susan thought she heard a bell ring."

Susan looks at Mike, who's watching Edie and Bongo with a smile on his face.

"Round one had started."

Rex and Bree are at Dr. Goldfine's office.

Rex: "Look, all I'm saying is that this whole 'it takes two to mess up a marriage' theory is bull. The problems that we have are because of her."
Bree: "That is not true, Rex."
Rex: "All right, fine. What have I been doing for the past 20 years that has been so awful?"

Dr. Goldfine looks down at his jacket as he fingers the newly repaired button.

Rex: "You're not saying anything because I've been a great husband and it kills you to admit that."
Dr. Goldfine: "Rex, I'm curious. Do you ever acknowledge the benefits of living with Bree?"
Rex: "Huh?"
Dr. Goldfine: "By your own admission, your home is always clean, your clothes are always freshly pressed, sounds like a wonderful cook. Despite her flaws, do you ever remember to say thank you?
Rex: "Thank you."
Dr. Goldfine: "Yes."

Bree looks satisfied.

At Mike's house, Mike, Susan, Julie, and Edie are finishing up their meal. Bongo puts his paws on the table and begins licking some of the gravy off of Edie's plate.

Mike tells Bongo to get off the table and Edie pushes Bongo down.

Mike turns to Susan. "So, who's the guy that lives across from Mrs. Huber, again?"
Susan: "That's Mr. Mullin. And just so you know, if he invites you in, you have to meet all of his pets."
Mike: "That's okay. I love animals."
Susan: "He's a taxidermist."
Mike: "Oh. Thanks for the warning."

They laugh.

Edie: "Isn't Mr. Mullin's brother your divorce attorney?"
Susan: "Uh, yes. yes, he was."
Edie: "Can I say something?"

Susan gestures that she should go ahead.

Edie: "In my heart, I still believe that you and Carl are going to get back together."
Mike: "Really?"
Edie: "Oh, yeah. I've never seen two people more in love. I'm mean, she's never going to find that kind of chemistry with another man. Never!"

"It was everything Susan could do to keep a smile on her face. Round two was under way and she was already taking a beating."

Julie: "You know what, Mrs. Britt?"

"What Edie hadn't counted on,"

Julie: "Do you know who I always liked?"

"Was that Susan had someone else in her corner."

Julie: "Mr. Roswell, your fourth husband.
Edie: "Oh, he was my second husband. I've only been married twice."

She glances at Mike, who smiles.

Julie: "Twice? You weren't married to the guy with all the tattoos that they took away in handcuffs?"
Susan: "No, Julie, she wasn't married to Javier. That was just one of her special friends." She laughs. "I think we should change the subject. You know, unless you want to keep talking about it."

Bongo puts his paws on the table again to lick off of Edie's plate.

Edie stands up, telling them that she wants to show them what she taught Bongo earlier. She holds some food in the air, and Bongo gets on his hind legs to beg for it.

"Susan was furious with Edie for using a dog to ingratiate herself with its owner. She was also furious with Mike for not seeing through this blatant maneuver."

Susan stands up and started clearing the table, telling them that she was going to get the desserts.

"But most of all, she was furious with herself for not having thought of it first."

In the kitchen, she puts the plates down and looks off in the direction of the dining room, where Mike is commenting that he can barely get Bongo to sit.

Susan sees the gravy dish and picks it up.

In the dining room, Mike says that he's never seen Bongo walk on two legs. Edie replies that he knows who to come to.

In the kitchen, Susan makes a decision. She puts down the gravy and then dabs her fingers in it. She rubs some on the back of her hand and some more behind her ear.

She carries the dessert out. When she's done passing it out, she backs away to where Bongo is, offering her hand for him to sniff. He starts licking her, and she makes a happy sound, drawing Mike's attention to her.

Mike: "Oh, look at that. Looks like Bongo's finally warming up to Susan."

Susan kneels down and Bongo starts licking her around her ear. "We just got off on the wrong foot. We're best buddies now."

Mike and Julie smile at Susan while Edie watches, stone-faced.

Suddenly, Bongo starts choking.

Susan: "Bongo, are you okay?"
Edie: "What's wrong with him?"
Mike: "I dunno. I've never heard him make that sound."

He rushes to Bongo's side.

Julie gestures to Susan, pointing to her own ear. Susan puts her hand up to feel for her earrings. One is gone.

Mike notices the same time Susan does and they look at the dog.

Mike carries Bongo out to his car, telling Edie and Susan to call the vet. Edie calls out that they will, and to not worry, that she'll stay and clean up everything.

Susan: "Is there anything I can do?"
Mike: "No."

He drives off.

At the vet, Mike paces back and forth. Susan comes in.

Susan: "Hey."
Mike: "Hey."
Susan: "How's Bongo doing?"
Mike: "I'm just waiting to see if they have to operate."
Susan: "Oh, God. [she pulls a large dog bone out of her purse.] Uh, I, I stopped and I got this. I am just so sorry for this."
Mike: "I'm really sorry that I snapped at you. I was just so worried."
Susan: "Oh, no. It's okay."

The vet comes out of the back room.

Vet: "Good news. We won't have to do surgery."
Susan: "Oh, that's great!"
Vet: "And we gave Bongo something to help pass the earring. When he does, would you like us to retrieve it for you?"
Susan: "Ah, I'm gonna say no."
Vet: "Okay. You should be able to take him home in about an hour."

He goes back into the back.

Mike and Susan turn away from the front desk.

Susan: "Wow. you must be so relieved."
Mike: "I'm sorry. I was just really worried."
Susan: "Well, it was your dog. I get it."
Mike: "Actually, it was my wife's dog. One of the last things she said to me in the hospital before she died was to be sure I looked after him. I promised her I would."

"And just like that, Susan could suddenly see something she'd never seen before."

Mike: "He, uh, meant so much to her."

"Mike Delfino was still in love with his late wife."

Mike: "And if something had happened, I would have felt like I had failed her. I know that sounds stupid, but, I--"

"And she knew right then that neither she nor Edie would be laying claim to his heart anytime soon."

Susan: "No, it doesn't. Not at all."

"So, she decided for now, she could settle for just being his friend."

Susan took the dog bone and handed it over to Mike. "This is for you. Well, for Bongo. Give it to him.

At Mike's house, Edie finishes up cleaning. She takes oil and vinegar and places them in a cupboard.

Hidden behind a different cupboard, next to where Edie had put the oil and vinegar lies money, maps, and detailed information and pictures about the people who live on Wisteria Lane.

"Yes. As I look back at the world I left behind, it's all so clear to me. The beauty that waits to be unveiled. The mysteries that long to be uncovered. But people so rarely stop to take a look. They just keep moving. It's a shame, really. There's so much to see."

The chest that Paul had thrown in the water pops up suddenly, bobbing gently.

~ The End ~

This spoiler episode was completed on October 17, 2004 by Amanda Lane (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)
Last Update: October 22, 2004

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